63 Comments

You can write the hell out of a junkie story Dangerfield, I always find them endlessly fascinating. Do you reckon it was actually him in The French House? Nice to think he might have turned his life around.

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Thank you, Jon - much appreciated. And yes, I do think it was him in the French House. We were such similar people when we met, (I alluded to that when I said I could have been looking in the mirror at the start of the story) - and then at the end I was looking in the mirror at him. And I had turned my life round and was in that boozer, why not him?

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Despite the grim stench of these tales you keep it engaging. I like how you were surprised to find a fellow thinker/reader after the Thamesmead brut bit. Hunting's unexpected eloquence and your sharp observations make it all the more pitiful given your sorry predicaments. You make a fair case for some sympathy for this lifestyle, describing well, for example, its bungling desperation up against the 'idle spite' of the law.

For all the junkie feebleness, I was shocked to be reminded of a 'defiant heart that taught itself how to love nobody.' That sense of defiance in someone quite broken, I always find touching.

For all this, the humour and drama are still there and nicely done. There's always some spring in your character's steps so it's a lively read. The asides about meaning of language etc, whilst running the pikey gauntlet, was good and seemed to tie in with your aforementioned acid clarity.

I'm left wanting to know more about all involved, how do people get like this? ...which I guess is a good measure of the stories told.

But they're great as shorts so even though you might only scratch some surface, the writing still gives a solid depth to those involved, stench and all.

Enjoyed it. Sweet ending with the 'me too.'

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Ludwig, I don't want to get you in more trouble but I love reading your reviews - you're so on it, I just wish I could reply to them as well. Ever thought of doing a literature review blog or channel? I think it would be amazing. The being left wanting to know more - me too! Because you never find out this stuff about these characters that appear in your life and disappear just as quickly. 'Cancered-up' kind of makes that point too, I hoped. I did cut + paste the asides about language in and out of the text a few times, but thought it worked, for the reason you said. Thanks for reading and putting a real smile on my face, you really pay attention, and it's much appreciated.

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My pleasure Chris. I get something of a vicarious thrill reading about these brazen exploits from my rather quiet life and I find it interesting to try and describe my thoughts and feelings about a story read. Keep 'em coming, bud. Good, solid stuff. Much love.

Gertcha

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It's taken me about 30 years to get my writing to a place where I can say I'm happy with it. It's far from perfect and these shorts are unedited, but for someone to identify aspects i consider relevant - or at least significant - which aren't obvious, really means a lot. it's like a barometer of the sub-plot, which is somewhat ironic since there's no 'plot' plot. Thanks again.

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Great story but seriously.... who the fuck is called Hunting. Really enjoyed this one, thanks Chris

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Thanks for reading and commenting, Emma. it's nuts, right? I mean, I'm guessing it was a fake name, but if it was a fake name, there's plenty of other options. Still makes me laugh though.

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It's Mick. I sat on the bog and had one of the greatest shits ever. No I didn't manage to drop any brown stuff (constipation, say no more) 😂. I did however get to read both parts of the story. I fucken love the way you write cus I've been to all those places, smelled those smells and had to put up with the same idiots. I don't read much mainly autobiographies or anything about music or Adidas. I'm guna read all of yours because they are great. I now have the bog seat tattooed in red on white legs. So thanks and keep em coming.

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Hello Mick - thanks for reading - I've spent hours on the toilet in my time. We even put a crash-helmet in one of our houses cos everyone kept gouching out and falling off. What a life. Thanks for leaving a comment, and thanks for loving the way I write - that'll do me all day long.

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What a great tale, below the comedy is the ever-present stream of patheticness. I really didn't expect that ending. Cool read,

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Thank you, Marc. An important comment. There is comedy in that life, and it gets you through, but I don't want the humour to detract from the fact these are broken and/or damaged people who make bad decisions again and again - but it's always a choice, nothing more, nothing less.

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not been a junkie myself but inhabited the fringes of that world for a while. I met some tragic figures. as you say normally because of a few wrong choices

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Love Reading these. Need more. Get that book out CD

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Very kind of you to have given them the time, Adam. I am working on my manuscript like never before (my YouTube ban is helping). I'm confident it will be out before Christmas, although my editor is having heart surgery, which might cause some delays. Anyway - thanks for the encouragement, it's really much appreciated.

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Heart surgery because of the editing so far? Eesh...must be a good book. Really excited about its release. Please do an ebook version as I'm living in Cyprus right so physical copy probably not an option. Still can't comment on ruddy YouTube vids... YouTube vanced doesn't seem to allow it. I'll try again after you see out your ban. Be well and take care for now.

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For sure it will be available on Kindle (and similar) and paperback. And no - the manuscript didn't give him heart problems, at least I think it didn't, it's given me brain problems, so who knows?

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Another grim but brilliantly wrote story chris.. I was hooked and had to finish reading this one tonight. I kinda understand now when you say a big part of your addiction is the hunt for your funds and to score.

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I once managed to secure a supply of morphine amps from The Stapleford Centre (look them up - weird story, they got struck off for reckless drug dealing - words to that effect) My prescribing Dr was called Dr Hugh Kindness, lol. Anyway, it was kind of boring, (drug) addiction at least is as much about drama as it is using, basically because when the drugs stop working like they once did, you need something else to get you away from yourself. Good to know you were hooked, very encouraging - thanks for reading and leaving a comment.

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I find your writing quite sparse, grammatically confusing, and in this particular episode inconsistent, Turkish or Greek cafe?

It may be your intended style, but it seems the 2 characters are real, but like an animation on a totally blank canvas. Your geographical references are relevant to me, but to someone foreign, it would come across as nowhere.

I personally would prefer if you painted more of a picture. I feel you are a far better raconteur than a writer, just my opinion, so please don't think I'm being a cunt for the sake of it.

You are an English writer, please don't use American spellings, it's incongruous, that is my biggest peeve.

Cheers,

Poke.

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Nice one, Poke - thanks for reading - it's not everyone's cup of tea (thankfully) but I really appreciate your time and leaving a comment.

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"Because if you do (a snowball hits Hunting right in the face, splitting his lip and causing blood to pour down his chin) you’re going to have to fight them, fight children, children who’ve been fighting all their lives, children who can lay Tarmac and drive skip lorries before they can read, children who will win the said fight, while their dads, cousins, brothers and uncles, all forty of them are encouraging them, goading them, and gambling on the outcome, and since they want their pound of your withdrawing, good for nothing, junkie flesh, they’ll pick you up when you go down and even hold you up as a thirteen-year-old smashes you repeatedly in the face until they get bored, and find someone else’s life to entertain them."

This is why I hate Pikeys. They're bullies. The Pikey bitch that slapped my sister wasn't that hard after my sister had busted her lip, nose, eye and ripped her earrings out: "ARGH! My ears," she screamed as she ran away. Nor was another Pikey who my mum gave whiplash too with a slap - after smashing another one's head against a brick wall.

PS, two of my great-nans were Pikeys.

Great story as usual.

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Cheers Bradley. Well, like most groups they have their pros and cons. A bit nasty that crowd as they knew you'd put up with anything due to your desperation. But I have met and worked with some really cool ones, and I do respect them maintaining a community. You can't hate your great-grans!

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No, I don't hate them. My nan told me a funny thing her mum used to say: "saltier than Lot's arse!"

Apparently, an horse got in their house once. She yanked its balls to make it bolt!

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Saltier than lot's arse may well find it's way into my novel, it's gold. Yeah, they know their way around the nags.

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Loved it. Style reminds me a lot of Will Self, but more easy to connect with, somehow.

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....so how weird that I was talking to Will about my Substack just yesterday. I was definitely influenced by some of the earlier work. I thought 'The Sweet Smell of Psychosis' and 'My Idea of Fun' were great. But he gave me Umbrella and Shark when I went into a rehab once and they were the last things I needed. But I'll take 'Loved it' all day long, can't ask much more than that. Thanks for reading and leaving a comment.

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No, thankyou Mr. Dangerfield. I was thinking specifically of a book of short stories of his I had years ago called 'Tough Tough Toys for Tough Tough Boys.' I couldn't put it down, some real crackers in there. There's one called 'A Rock of Crack as Big as The Ritz' and the ending of that story - in the hotel room - contains one of the most brilliant descriptive paragraphs I've ever seen. But thinking on it the comparison is superficial anyway - his writing took me out of reality - yours smacks me in the chops with it! Loved it!

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Yes, I know that story - but I don't know that book of shorts, so I must have read it elsewhere. Thanks for the rethink, I like the idea of smacking people in the chops with my writing. Much appreciated.

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Great stuff Chris - that ending was sublime. You’ve got me into this sub stack thing. Looking forward to reading your other stuff. Cheers.

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Hello Skyaaz - I just realised I never replied to your comment. Apologies. A bit late, but really appreciate you giving them a go. 'Sublime' is wonderful, well, 'sublime', you could say.

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Absolutely fantastic. Finally got round to reading one. The pikey segment was perfectly tense. Best line though, "No!" The first thing to come out of her mouth since we arrived if you don’t include two cocks. Class!

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Hello Al - thanks for giving it a go - it's really appreciated, and asking someone to read 10K words is quite the thing. Comment much appreciated.

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I would've fancied Hunting and probably tried to save him while i died trying 😉

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I noticed a lot of that, really hot women with real wrecks of men, myself included. Many of them end up at 12 step co-dependent groups, where they....you guessed it.... find boyfriends. Thanks for reading, Liz.

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Oh and by the way your girlfriend is gorgeous Chris

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Yes, she's a dream.

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Excellent story best one yet can't wait for you to release your book I'm sure it will be a best seller

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Hello Paul, thanks for reading and leaving a comment. It's very encouraging to read positive reviews, especially with this one which is approx 10K words. My novel has hundreds of stories, but no plot as such, so making that work is my dream. Your kind of feedback gives me faith, really appreciated.

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Yes Chris ever since I discovered the crack diaries I been following your channel because I've been involved in that life and even though it is mostly dark it is often funny in a sick sort of way

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Without a doubt. Half the time it's laugh or just fall where you stand and die. But there's also a real humanity to that life, to those people. Even the ones I often despised I had a soft spot for because they (and I) had fallen through so many gaps, 'normal society' had just at best abandoned them, at worse punished them. There's something tragic in that that I haven't seen anywhere else.

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Thanks for replying to my message anyway Chris I think your great and I love watching all of your you tube videos everything you say is spot on

and I relate to your old lifestyle

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That's much appreciated. 'Relate', lol.

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Thanks Chris, that was hilarious - wonder if Dirty Husband still has the video ?

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You know what, I never thought about that, how amazing to get hold of a copy. Hmm, it's going back a while but I wonder if I could get someone still on the manor to go round there and buy it? Imagine actually getting to see me and Hunting in that state doing that thing? Sort of fascinated and disgusted. I guess it would mean him not being with Dirty Lynn any more?

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