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Hello people - let me know what you think about this one. Give it a LIKE if you like it. Cheers.

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I always 'double dip' a Dangerfield substack. A cursory first reading to determine the point and feel of the story and the second to appreciate the style and Chris's trademark vivid descriptive powers. His great strength is in beautifuly described awfulness. His great ability is to compose scenes of horror, depravity and often gore and paint them in exquisite delicate subtle brushstrokes.

This piece is (once again) a slight departure from Chris' usual output style.

In my opinion, there is no story, there is no point and there are no trademark visceral depictions of human self debasement under their chemical masters, concluding that this is a writing exercise of sorts, a tweaking of writing style focusing on dialogue, with the absurd pointlessness of the plot coming second, if at all.

As a cannabis enthusiast myself I smiled at the astute little observations, the 'orgasmic sniff" of the bud standing out.

I can relate to the mindset Chris expertly describes, and I too can describe the many mornings sitting quietly by my pond smoking bud as most assuredly being 'busy'

If indeed it is an exercise in dialogue, it works well, flows nicely and is another worthy addition to the Dangerfield Canon. Giving its focus on dialogue and absurd ending, it could have been titled 'Pillow Talk'

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Nice one, mate. In a way, all writing is an exercise - inasmuch as I wouldn't want to one day, or one story, land on something and think, "This is how I write!"

It's funny you say you're a 'cannabis enthusiast', as I'm sure there's a few among my readership, so I wanted to tread carefully there, not 'egg-shell' carefully, but in a way where it's clear - or at least apparent - that I too was once such an aficionado of the flower and wasn't judging, just observing (and remembering, just).

'Story' is an odd one, and nuanced. I mean, there is a story, I could ask you what happened, and if you hadn't been sitting by your pond for too long, you could probably tell me, but it's more a vignette, although is there really a difference? It's certainly not one of the classic story arcs.

My take-away, was I started with the idea of a man who couldn't do something (leave his house,) but by the end of the writing, I wasn't sure which of the two characters was the one who couldn't. The stoner, the doorway man, both, or neither.

Thank you for reading (twice) and taking the time to write a detailed and well considered comment, it really does mean a lot to me.

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Hi Chris, thanks for your reply mate, it's great to get your deeper insights into what you are aiming for in a piece of writing which the reader must initially try to work out for themselves (which is what makes reading interesting)

It's like watching a movie and rewatching it with the commentary to see if the directors intention aligns with your own perception of the film.

I see now that My badly phrased 'lack of story' comment stems from my own 'expectation' of a denouement that I'd set up for myself lol. Instead of just taking the progression at face value I'd set up a non existent expectation of a 'plot twist' at the end which never came. I'd merely disappointed myself lol. (Stoners eh? Lol)

I had actually expected both characters to be the same bloke, leaving his house and looping back home and conversing with himself in a psychotic episode. His subconscious having to trick itself in order to get him to leave the house to preserve his sanity.

Anyway, keep up the good work mate, I always look forward to you releasing a new substack. 👍

(Cheeky bastard comment incoming.....)

P.s. Have you ever considered writing a novel ? I'm sure you could bang one out in no time....

😜

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If I didn't have a day job, which is often a day and night job, and a YouTube channel, and a work YouTube channel, and a GF, and a Substack, and eating, and occasionally sleeping, I reckon the manuscript would have taken a couple of years. It's certainly not seven years of writing, it's the time I managed to find within those seven years to work on it. I know you were only breaking my balls, but I too am desperate to get it published.

On the off-chance you're interested, look up the 'picaresque' novel. of which, to an extent, mine is (will be?) no real heroes journey, but many (many, in my currently 700pp tome) small vignettes like this, with the protagonist just making his way through the world, getting by as best he can with a bit of chat, a joke or two, and usually a few ladies making things (un)bearable.

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Of course I'm just breaking your balls mate...all done with utmost affection (no homo). Think of it as keeping it (the novel) alive in scrubconsciousness, sort of a slow burn marketing technique.

It's actually the fact that we all know that you are both a good writer/excellent storyteller and a hard working dilligent man spinning many other plates that makes the 'out of your hands' delays and your own understandable frustration funny and endearing. (and memeworthy lol)

I might actually buy a copy when it's published,

possibly...

maybe. 😉

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It's got to the stage where I am actually, SERIOUSLY, considering titles and design, which I've played about with, but now it's serious, as people need to know to get all that ready for the final draft. It's very exciting. I was talking to a friend the other day about how I go through periods of totally losing faith, to having far too much, and he said, "Either way, you've worked on a project for seven years to the best of your abilities, and that alone is commendable," which was an angle I hadn't previously considered, but it makes far more sense than wildly judging myself based on no real or changing information. Thanks for the kind words. Now, tea with the Mrs.

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Lovely liitle treat on a Sunday morning, Darryl sounds like my Daughter, she had to climb up a drainpipe yesterday to get back in doors for her keys. I hate panic attacks and going outside and staying indoors and lol, Love your stories you describe characters so well you feel like they're ya mates/acquaintances as we've all got them like those even the gross ones.

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Thank you Liz, what a lovely thing to say, a 'little treat' - it's a real pleasure. Do you see your younger self in your daughter?

It's interesting what you said about describing characters. It's a fine line. If you say too much, you'll alienate people from them, but if you just give out a few dots, the reader can join them up, using information from their own experiences, which hopefully is why you feel like you know them. As I've said a zillion times, writing's more about what you leave out, what you don't say. Thanks, Liz; you're usually in early with my stories, and it means a lot to me. Bless you.

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Reading this was like watching a scene from a well acted, gritty 1980s channel 4/BBC2 documentary or play. It read well, flowed nicely, allowed me to envision the characters and scenes. Having lived next door to a rather large, loud, violent, hard drinking docker myself in the 90s, i often encountered Bob at inopportune moments outside the front of our house when i too was completely toffee-ied,. One quickly learnt how to straighten up and invoke an air of oi, oi saveloy, defensive humour. However, that hyperspace jump from mellow, stoned immaculation to a fight or flight crystal sharp awaredness was not enjoyable. Inside i just wanted him to fuck off...Problem was he liked me, thought i was one of his geezaar tribe. Used to get stuck there chatting for anything up to an hour with the Mrs glancing through the front window knowingly while laughing her tits off. Anyway, long story short ...A lot of your writing is relatable, which is why i like it.

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Nice one MouseCat. Stoners are fine, being constantly stoned is fine, until they have to deal with people who are not, and the tendency is for them to fold. Well observed 'hyperspace jump' when you realise consequences are suddenly a thing and you're not sitting on your sofa. Thanks for the kind words, giving another short-story a read, and leaving a detailed comment. It's appreciated so much that I may burst.

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Another reflection of how many MANY of us ex stoners lived life when all that mattered was puff, munchies and mates. Every time I read one of these from you it has a very VERY... what's that sweaty sock wanker... did trainspotting... Irvin Welsh? You feel like a much BETTER version of that cunt, to me, anyway. I could 100% relate to this story - can't we all? Fantastic little read. I truly hope, one day, you're able to make it like that cunt and have at least one film made from one of these scripts... If only I had the dolla..... We can hope. Big love, bruva!

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Cheers, John. I think before my time is up I'll be able to make a movie - but it's all about the writing for me, as much as I'd like to make a movie. If I can just get a few thousand people to read my novel - and some of them enjoy it, I'll be happy. I don't have big ambitions, because I don't write in a way that would likely fulfil them. But the likes of you, who seem to have read all my Substacks, and thought about them enough to leave a comment that gives me something to think about is quite the privilege, so thank you very much. I think Irvine Welsh is a decent writer. The characters in Trainspotting are well formed, if a bit butchered in the movie, and I really like filth too. Much like Brand with comedy, I'll often be compared to Welsh due to the content, but he's a success and I am not, so I'll take the comparison. Liz said she didn't know if it was Shakespeare, another comparison I'll take! Thanks again, John, it really means a lot.

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Bless ya, bruv! You mean so much to so many of us - not in a gay culty way, but, as a story teller and linchpin or like the KY Jelly between us all, helping us all ease in together..... bot sure where that bum fucking comparison came from... but, thank you, you work is and will be much appreciated is what I'm trying to say....... can you tell you're writing video inspired me a bit? hahaha fuck sake.... Monday stream?

Big love, man

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That was brilliant & hilarious, one of my favourite yet. Nice one Chris.

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Thank you, Al. It's interesting, I wonder what makes people prefer different stories. it sounds like a basic question, but sometimes they're the ones that need asking. Anyway, glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for giving it some time and leaving a comment, appreciated as always.

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Well I certainly don't have the literary analytical chops to answer that. It wasn't too wordy & the plot was easy enough for a basic bitch like me to follow. Don't forget, at 15, I left school & ran away to join the circus of wannabe International rock stars. On the plus side, I can kind of pick the bones out of a restaurant menu in many languages & order beer/whisky/coke in nearly all.

It may not of had the content of 'Hunting', but it just sat well with me. I do realise that absolutely none of that was any help whatsoever 😉🤭

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(I'll take a comment whatever it says) ...and actually, it did give me something to consider. I like to think I write for people who don't usually read. Not in a patronizing way, quite the opposite, but there are limits, and learning where to push them and where to adhere to them is part of my practice. In short, the 'content' aspect of 'Hunting' made sense, it's a lot of things happening. Whereas this one, not so much, but not in quantity, just in intensity maybe? See, I'm thinking about it. Cheers, Al.

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yo g i got dis leeeeeeeeng cali pack some of that tt bangin shit ye? this oneis christmas dinner it is the bang bang you smell dat shit and it smells like me nanas crimbo stuffing yaknow? somadat og shit

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Ha! Out here there's loads of home delivery weed Telegram accounts, and your comment is not far off how they advertise each 'new strain' when it arrives. 'Nanas crimbo stuffing' is genius.

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I used to hang out with a weed dealer (at a time where I had no other friends to be around) and that was the sort of shit he was always coming out with.

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When we were kids and selling soap-bar of all things, we'd make up the most ridiculous names, sometimes with stories to accompany them, and before long, it was woven into the fabric of the local cannabis culture. You'd hear other people talking about that bit of "Ovaltine Red" that was going around. That's OK when you're 15, at 35, not so much.

I occasionally browse the seed websites, because as much as I take the piss, I am quite interested in the whole selective breeding etc., but 'Green Crack' doesn't quite have the subtleties and thought that went into Northern Lights and White Widow for instance. Interestingly, there's none of that in the heroin game. "Bro, I got some banging Turkish Delight" just wouldn't cut it, and it's added two seconds to the transaction of something I really wanted yesterday.

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I often take copies of the seed magazines from the local head shop just for a laugh, "Feminised Kosher Kush", "Luke Skywalker", "Peter Gabriel's Wank Bank", "Stalins Stone Heart Kush x JFK Brainmelter"

When I was 14, I went up to one of the drug dealers in the school claiming to have "Lemon Haze Diesel Fumes" and he thought I was being serious, just came up with it off the cuff.

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Yes, and these are sold as 'medicinal' in some US states. Imagine, "Doctor, I've run out of Skittle Poison." I do love growing the stuff though, but I do find the whole culture surrounding it very nauseating and unsurprisingly aimed at mentally and emotionally immature people. AKA - midlife stay-highs.

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A lovely story of friendship

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Cheers, Mike, and yes, that's pretty much what holds it all together. Its challenges too, but you go the distance for a friend. Much appreciated.

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100% :-)

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"I'm just round the corner, 2 minutes away..." my mate, already 15 minutes late, said last night, on the phone, as I waited at his door.

I had a good twenty f.ing minutes to try and calm my frustration with remembering that, as something of a stoner himself, he's always been like this.

"Yeah, no worries. I was sat in the car listening to a livestream" (Forty Two btw!)

He's a good mate but it's a yawn having to think of him as a kind of handicapped. Always a let down, always excuses.

I just get this feeling that our ancestors who constructed the first gothic cathedrals in Europe, for example, weren't quite this tardy.

My thoughts have been provoked. Good stuff.

A rather gentle look at some more floppy life in the slow lane.

There's an intrigue and incongruity to that pillow in the garden that I enjoyed the most. 'As one door closes, another door closes' is a superb line.

Cheers then

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'As one door closes, another one shuts' is better, lol. But thanks. And yes, they're frustrating people, but you either accept it and put up with it, or offload them. In many ways all friendships are like that. My best friend can wind me up like no one else, but I tolerate it because everything else about him is second to none.

Maybe it would be better if they just said, "look, I'm high as a kite and will get distracted, so I can't say exactly when I'll be there" or words to that effect depending on the situation. You just don't rely on them when time is of the essence.

Nice one, Ludders. Thanks for taking the time to read it and leave an interesting comment. As usual a pleasure to read, so thanks a lot.

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Hoit Chris, sorry, I misremembered the line, 'as one door closes, another one shuts'

That's it. Anyhoo, superb line.

My dad was a rather successful copywriter in advertising land and in his more sober moments, we'd discuss our appreciation of really strong, succinct prose. Good stuff.

Words eh?

Cheers

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Sales and marketing copy is a real art. It takes me longer to write than fiction. How nice to have been able to discuss that with your old man, who was in the industry.

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Yes, I knew you'd just slipped-up there. Another one along similar lines is 'The world is your clam'. Essentially, it's just a little twist on a well known idiom. Have a good weekend, Ludwig.

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Had me laughing mate. Loved the daughter and brass confusion

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Hello mate. I can tell you where that came from, well, what inspired it. I was doing some 'work', facilitating the movement of some herbal products between some businessmen and some travelers, and one of the businessmen's daughters came into the room, and was quickly spun around and pushed back out of the door. After about 30 minutes, agreeing prices and the like, completely out of the blue, one of the travelers asked, 'How much do you want for your daughter?" and no one knew what to say, so they didn't, and carried on as if it hadn't happened. Thanks for giving this a read. Much appreciated.

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My heart goes out to Linda

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AMAZING COMMENT!!! The oft forgotten weed-widows who put up with this shit for far too long, forever in many instances I've known. Well spotted. I didn't want her to feature any more than she needed to, because that is how the 'men' in her life also see her - fleetingly, and with little value. Almost a mother, a bad one at that. Thanks for reading, and leaving a...er...well spotted comment? That's clunky, but you get my meaning, I hope?

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I certainly do lad

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A fun read Chris, all those strange and at the time logical thoughts we process and act on belatedly when stoned to the bone, glad I don’t bun de erb no more.

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I really can't stand the company of stay-highs, there's some exceptions, but generally they're very dull conversationalists. But I certainly was one, from dawn til dawn there'd be a biff hanging out of my mouth. And while I agree with you, I'm also glad I am no longer one, they were good times, and good times are, after all, good times. Thanks for reading and leaving a comment. Much appreciated.

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