Hello everyone - the version here on Substack was re-edited because I sent the story out at 06:00AM when I could barely see and it had a lot of problems, so this version is a re edit and much better.
Difficult to pin this one down. Vividly descriptive with the usual Dangerfield eloquence and humour but run through with the sense of a child desperately trying to find something positive and reassuring in an arena which their younger self found exciting and (dare I say magical) but proves to be the opposite as each layer is explored and exposed. By the end I felt quite sad for the adult Chris hoping against hope (and reality) that there was a nugget of gold in the bath full of excrement into which he had climbed. Another quality piece of writing sir.
(And you managed not to mention Debbie McGee even once lol)
So reassuring to get a comment talking about the story. There's also a bit of an up-yours (#NotYours) to a lot of 'rules of writing' in this one which I tried to turn up to 11 to make a point. But that's interesting that you see 'layers', which I do, but only now. From abuse at one end of the spectrum to actual marvel and wonder at the other, it's been a strange journey and in truth, I'm not sure why the fascination persists having been so frequently let down. I guess it's like the truffle hunters who go out at the crack of dawn (not that dawn, that would be ridiculous) all season on the hope of finding that 500 gram fungus. Amongst all the confidence tricks along the way I'm given just enough to keep me hoping. I did nearly mention Paul Daniels, and I can't imagine I'd have not mentioned Debbie had I, but decided it was getting a bit choppy. Thanks for giving it a read and for your thoughtful comment.
Nov 30, 2022·edited Nov 30, 2022Liked by Chris Dangerfield
Great story!
I still have an original (signed by Derren) Devils Picturebook VHS, and the full deck (riffle shuffled by a spectator) oil and water routine is still the most powerful effect I can do, even 20 years later! Pretty much the perfect trick
Whoa! What I didn't expect was a conjuring fan! Nice one, Lewis, I imagine you identified with a few of the things I said about that world. Oil and Water is great, yes. There's no doubt the routines in The Devil's Picture Book are great, but it didn't show me what I wanted. But Mike (of 'Mike's Move' fame, filled me in on all that eventually. Thanks for reading and leaving a comment, much appreciated.
Hello Liz. I've never ventured into self-help books after meeting a bloke in rehab who had about 50 of them and was one of the most stupid people I've ever met. He always talked about them too, while Rome burnt. Thanks for giving it a read.
A brilliant piece of writing. I had no idea where this was going, especially after Schrödinger's assistant! Shouldn't have worried though. Reminds of when some geezer did a cool trick on me during a live YouTube video. The bastard never told me how he did it 😂 😉
Hello AL, lol. I also had no idea where it was going, but knew I had a history of conjuring and went to a convention. I thought it would be OK. Schrödinger's assistant was very awkward - I was about 12 at the time and knew there was something a bit dodge about it. Thanks for giving it a read - doesn't have the easy hooks of tales of addiction this one. The numbers are good, the comments not so much. I wonder if people actually got to the end? Thanks for giving it a read.
Yeah I saw your Telegram comment echoing that. I thought if was a really good piece. Maybe it didn't contain all the 'best of, greatest hits' of pure degeneracy that we've came to know & love, Lol. Maybe it's more accessible to readers that aren't scrubs.
I know it bothers you a bit when people unsub on here, but honestly, fek 'em!
Only had one unsub with this one, but I think you’re right, it’s not junkies being junkies, so to speak, but like I say, the numbers are good, maybe the comments will pick up over time. Cheers, Al.
a great trip into the weird al side of stage magic. Whilst never adept at anything better than a disappearing coin tricky, I did enjoy watching magic on TV shows back in the UK as a kid, although I always had an intuition that something more sinister lurked behind the scenes. I stood behind Deren Brown once in a cashpoint queue in Bristol. Oh yeah, thanks for the heads up on the no handed wank and the exposé on hypnotism.
Ha! Learned that particular masturbatury ‘trick’ at school. Liberal education will do that to a kid. I guess most performance based activities hide something, since by definition you’re given a ‘show’ which is never the full story. But magic, deceptive from the outset, I don’t know, the rule of Patrick’s mum stands strong. Thanks for reading and leaving a comment, much appreciated.
The description of those wives in a pre divorce state let down by magician husbands, awaiting their beating, alcoholic future, sucking off random cocks under office desks. Magic is so far away from its hype,. To be enamored by one’s own scamming holds no prize.
There you go, Mick. There’s something inherently grubby about it. Even Siegfried and Roy, Vegas big shots with snow tigers and all - ended up having his throat bitten out. That’s what happens when you stuff snow tigers into tiny cages, I guess. Thanks for giving it a read and leaving a comment.
Hello Tom - thanks for giving it a read. A bit of a tricky one this as I wanted to stuff a few 'rules of grammar' where they belong. Anyway, always nice to catch you on my radar. Best wishes.
Hello Dennis - thanks for giving it a go. Hmm, make heroin sound amazing. Sometimes it is, because it protects you from trauma that would otherwise cripple you, and there's plenty of studies around dopamine and drive, motivation, etc. But then there's the other side of things - have you read 'Lizard Jane'? Or 'Whatever Happened to Hunting'? Maybe get a bit of perspective on it by giving them a pop. Thanks for leaving a comment too - really appreciated.
I haven,t read anything yet, well I did read the first few ummm chapters, sentences from the unedited email, now I have done the direct link from the Dan stream and have been laughing for 5 minutes . So Darlingk we see it is you, you Soho Ho, that started this skirt trend for the gender ambiguous sluts with training stillettos, you were correct to keep the summer scuffs with that ensemble. Now to the crux of the Scrubstack, look for my further input HOIT o7
What a fine piece of writing you've written. And yes, I was so eager to get this piece published that I pinged it off at about 5 AM without anywhere near a half decent proofing, and woke up gutted. Still, no one unsubscribed, so all is well in Hell. 'Training stilettos' - I once had a girlfriend who asked/bribed me to take her to a sex-shop because she wanted to keep saying to the staff how her uncle (me) was buying her 'first stilettos'. She seemed to enjoy herself as I just stood there waiting for the police to arrive. She even wore them out of the shop, and they had $10 bills in the clear platform at the front. Keep it classy, girl. Thanks for reading, Linda, finally this story is gathering some comments. I'm trying to work out why it's struggled in that dept.
It does indeed read like, as an adult, glimpsing the frail, seedy pervert behind the curtain, after the spell of tattered decoration which may have beguiled the child, no longer has the strength to deceive. Desperation and the odour of stale fags, scent the hilarious, thematically brilliant, prose.
Thank you, Nianthos - that means a lot. As with all writing but the 'reason' (?) to this one remains unclear to me still whereas over time I tent to understand myself a bit more and know what I was trying to say or at least why. Something about repeating patterns, and how failure - or at least 'a failing' can sometimes be the strongest of motivators, far more than success, which actually achieves very little - I'm talking about very human ideas like love, loss, desire, innocence. Success is of course quite handy if you're building airplanes for instance. Thanks for reading and leaving a comment - much appreciated.
Great story Chris. Although I reckon there's one guy masculine enough to use the mechanic's grip. Richard Turner. Guy started going blind at 9, lost his full sight, went on to get a black belt having the shit kicked out of him and still does some incredible sleight of hand to this day, practically flawless.... Very good Doc on him called "Dealt" I'd recommend. Also side note, I'm pretty annoyed my folding 10p coins are gonna be sus with the Queen's head on them now. Cheery bye!
Hello Chris - thanks for giving it a read and leaving a comment. I know of Richard Turner, incredible work. I've been getting into a lad called Dani DaOrtiz recently, absolutely sublime - still gross though, there's no getting away from that. The old folding coins, and loads of snapped elastic bands! I bought a hook coin once which was quite good for annoying people in the boozer.
Hello everyone - the version here on Substack was re-edited because I sent the story out at 06:00AM when I could barely see and it had a lot of problems, so this version is a re edit and much better.
Difficult to pin this one down. Vividly descriptive with the usual Dangerfield eloquence and humour but run through with the sense of a child desperately trying to find something positive and reassuring in an arena which their younger self found exciting and (dare I say magical) but proves to be the opposite as each layer is explored and exposed. By the end I felt quite sad for the adult Chris hoping against hope (and reality) that there was a nugget of gold in the bath full of excrement into which he had climbed. Another quality piece of writing sir.
(And you managed not to mention Debbie McGee even once lol)
So reassuring to get a comment talking about the story. There's also a bit of an up-yours (#NotYours) to a lot of 'rules of writing' in this one which I tried to turn up to 11 to make a point. But that's interesting that you see 'layers', which I do, but only now. From abuse at one end of the spectrum to actual marvel and wonder at the other, it's been a strange journey and in truth, I'm not sure why the fascination persists having been so frequently let down. I guess it's like the truffle hunters who go out at the crack of dawn (not that dawn, that would be ridiculous) all season on the hope of finding that 500 gram fungus. Amongst all the confidence tricks along the way I'm given just enough to keep me hoping. I did nearly mention Paul Daniels, and I can't imagine I'd have not mentioned Debbie had I, but decided it was getting a bit choppy. Thanks for giving it a read and for your thoughtful comment.
You had me at 'Auschwitzian birdcage...' Another fun and thrilling ride on the undercarriage of the D-Man. Great read, fella! Big love!
For me it was a toss-up between Auschwitzian birdcage and Schrodinger's assistant for winning couplet. Nice one for giving it a read JP.
Great story!
I still have an original (signed by Derren) Devils Picturebook VHS, and the full deck (riffle shuffled by a spectator) oil and water routine is still the most powerful effect I can do, even 20 years later! Pretty much the perfect trick
Whoa! What I didn't expect was a conjuring fan! Nice one, Lewis, I imagine you identified with a few of the things I said about that world. Oil and Water is great, yes. There's no doubt the routines in The Devil's Picture Book are great, but it didn't show me what I wanted. But Mike (of 'Mike's Move' fame, filled me in on all that eventually. Thanks for reading and leaving a comment, much appreciated.
I find self help books sound similar to the magic books 🤔and are just as useful. Not, anyways cheers for the read.
Hello Liz. I've never ventured into self-help books after meeting a bloke in rehab who had about 50 of them and was one of the most stupid people I've ever met. He always talked about them too, while Rome burnt. Thanks for giving it a read.
A brilliant piece of writing. I had no idea where this was going, especially after Schrödinger's assistant! Shouldn't have worried though. Reminds of when some geezer did a cool trick on me during a live YouTube video. The bastard never told me how he did it 😂 😉
Nice one Chris!
Hello AL, lol. I also had no idea where it was going, but knew I had a history of conjuring and went to a convention. I thought it would be OK. Schrödinger's assistant was very awkward - I was about 12 at the time and knew there was something a bit dodge about it. Thanks for giving it a read - doesn't have the easy hooks of tales of addiction this one. The numbers are good, the comments not so much. I wonder if people actually got to the end? Thanks for giving it a read.
Yeah I saw your Telegram comment echoing that. I thought if was a really good piece. Maybe it didn't contain all the 'best of, greatest hits' of pure degeneracy that we've came to know & love, Lol. Maybe it's more accessible to readers that aren't scrubs.
I know it bothers you a bit when people unsub on here, but honestly, fek 'em!
You do you.
Only had one unsub with this one, but I think you’re right, it’s not junkies being junkies, so to speak, but like I say, the numbers are good, maybe the comments will pick up over time. Cheers, Al.
a great trip into the weird al side of stage magic. Whilst never adept at anything better than a disappearing coin tricky, I did enjoy watching magic on TV shows back in the UK as a kid, although I always had an intuition that something more sinister lurked behind the scenes. I stood behind Deren Brown once in a cashpoint queue in Bristol. Oh yeah, thanks for the heads up on the no handed wank and the exposé on hypnotism.
Ha! Learned that particular masturbatury ‘trick’ at school. Liberal education will do that to a kid. I guess most performance based activities hide something, since by definition you’re given a ‘show’ which is never the full story. But magic, deceptive from the outset, I don’t know, the rule of Patrick’s mum stands strong. Thanks for reading and leaving a comment, much appreciated.
The description of those wives in a pre divorce state let down by magician husbands, awaiting their beating, alcoholic future, sucking off random cocks under office desks. Magic is so far away from its hype,. To be enamored by one’s own scamming holds no prize.
There you go, Mick. There’s something inherently grubby about it. Even Siegfried and Roy, Vegas big shots with snow tigers and all - ended up having his throat bitten out. That’s what happens when you stuff snow tigers into tiny cages, I guess. Thanks for giving it a read and leaving a comment.
Thanks 👍🏻
Thank you, William. Not necessarily an easy read, not technically, but content-wise. Much appreciated.
Magic
Hello Tom - thanks for giving it a read. A bit of a tricky one this as I wanted to stuff a few 'rules of grammar' where they belong. Anyway, always nice to catch you on my radar. Best wishes.
You make heroin sound amazing, and I read till the end.
Hello Dennis - thanks for giving it a go. Hmm, make heroin sound amazing. Sometimes it is, because it protects you from trauma that would otherwise cripple you, and there's plenty of studies around dopamine and drive, motivation, etc. But then there's the other side of things - have you read 'Lizard Jane'? Or 'Whatever Happened to Hunting'? Maybe get a bit of perspective on it by giving them a pop. Thanks for leaving a comment too - really appreciated.
I haven,t read anything yet, well I did read the first few ummm chapters, sentences from the unedited email, now I have done the direct link from the Dan stream and have been laughing for 5 minutes . So Darlingk we see it is you, you Soho Ho, that started this skirt trend for the gender ambiguous sluts with training stillettos, you were correct to keep the summer scuffs with that ensemble. Now to the crux of the Scrubstack, look for my further input HOIT o7
What a fine piece of writing you've written. And yes, I was so eager to get this piece published that I pinged it off at about 5 AM without anywhere near a half decent proofing, and woke up gutted. Still, no one unsubscribed, so all is well in Hell. 'Training stilettos' - I once had a girlfriend who asked/bribed me to take her to a sex-shop because she wanted to keep saying to the staff how her uncle (me) was buying her 'first stilettos'. She seemed to enjoy herself as I just stood there waiting for the police to arrive. She even wore them out of the shop, and they had $10 bills in the clear platform at the front. Keep it classy, girl. Thanks for reading, Linda, finally this story is gathering some comments. I'm trying to work out why it's struggled in that dept.
It does indeed read like, as an adult, glimpsing the frail, seedy pervert behind the curtain, after the spell of tattered decoration which may have beguiled the child, no longer has the strength to deceive. Desperation and the odour of stale fags, scent the hilarious, thematically brilliant, prose.
Excellent work.
Thank you, Nianthos - that means a lot. As with all writing but the 'reason' (?) to this one remains unclear to me still whereas over time I tent to understand myself a bit more and know what I was trying to say or at least why. Something about repeating patterns, and how failure - or at least 'a failing' can sometimes be the strongest of motivators, far more than success, which actually achieves very little - I'm talking about very human ideas like love, loss, desire, innocence. Success is of course quite handy if you're building airplanes for instance. Thanks for reading and leaving a comment - much appreciated.
Great story Chris. Although I reckon there's one guy masculine enough to use the mechanic's grip. Richard Turner. Guy started going blind at 9, lost his full sight, went on to get a black belt having the shit kicked out of him and still does some incredible sleight of hand to this day, practically flawless.... Very good Doc on him called "Dealt" I'd recommend. Also side note, I'm pretty annoyed my folding 10p coins are gonna be sus with the Queen's head on them now. Cheery bye!
That's strange. Literally soon as I'd sent this message he uploaded a live show on his YouTube :-) Fate has betrothed it's cheeky face upon us lol
https://youtu.be/8egY5wlCYDY
Oh nice one, I'll check that out right now. Cheers, Chris.
Hello Chris - thanks for giving it a read and leaving a comment. I know of Richard Turner, incredible work. I've been getting into a lad called Dani DaOrtiz recently, absolutely sublime - still gross though, there's no getting away from that. The old folding coins, and loads of snapped elastic bands! I bought a hook coin once which was quite good for annoying people in the boozer.
https://youtube.com/shorts/6glJCofJBEg?feature=share
Ha! There you go - someone else worked out how those animals 'disappear' in those boxes. Something something Schrodinger's magic trick....