Brilliant Chris, throughly enjoyed reading these. You paint a very detailed picture of the situations you have been in. My favourite line is definitely “bless his cotton sock” 🧦
Thank you, Emma - that's very much appreciated. I'm a bit confused with the numbers as I had a last minute swap around at 5 Am this morning, but I think I know what you're talking about.
Hello Steve - I like a good junkie yarn, probably since they're somewhat disabled which adds a bit of fuel to the fire of life, so the spasticated kind of have a similar struggle - putting the two together made sense because of that. Thanks for reading.
Nice one, Anglo - getting someone to sit down and read over ten thousand words these days isn't easy, I appreciated you putting in the time and effort. Best wishes.
Thank you, very kind. Tired, etc is out of print and the publishers ripped me off. But you can find the occasionally second hand copy online. It's not great, I wrote it in a week on sulphate and it shows, it's OK actually, got some good reviews and it was stocked in Waterstones. But you know, I struggle to promote something I wrote nearly thirty years ago. Wait for the next one, it's ridiculous.
It’s not often that I read shit, laugh, read it again to see what I laughed about, then read it again and laugh for good measure, but this line is a killer for anyone who enjoyed a few drug fouled giggles with mates “ Thankfully the door was open, so there would be no two-hour debate about who was going to knock, who was going to speak, how the knock would be knocked and what speaking would be spoken. top man Chris
Amazing! I burst out laughing at “You filthy crustacean whore!” and almost pissed my pants (for reals) at “Face-fuck yourself with one of those disgusting flippers”. Amazing!
The cripple guy, too, and how you talk about Dartford, nails it! We've all been there with the poor kid being laughed at by the gang of cunts, some of us had been smashed, other done the tosser bit, very few have been the hero, gave me a little lump in my throat (not pants).
I like how you described Tree Estate as 'grubby' too... yes, it's grubby alright, though not too bad compared to some of the estates I grew up in over the water... I still fucking hated/hate it, though.
Nice one, John. When I used to tell the Lobster Girl story as a comedian, I'd say how I was quite the novice sexually when it came to taking the piss out of someone's deformed hands, which of course is true. Some hit, some missed, but she certainly responded well to “Face-fuck yourself with one of those disgusting flippers”, which made me smile. LSD; take it and wait for the weird ones to appear. Thanks for reading and leaving comments, John, much appreciated.
The sixth spastic is heartbreaking. It reminded me of the time I took part in bullying (not a spastic) and how disgusted I was with myself after. That dark spot still affects me almost 40 years later and may explain why I constantly remind my daughter to not make the same mistake. The 7th reminded me of a summer tryst I had many years ago with a hot firecracker my friends and I affectionately called "The Claw" due to her deformed hand. Sadly she was also a nutter so it didn't last. Well done son!
Hello Matt - thanks for reading and leaving a comment. And yes, the 'sixth spastic' is indeed heartbreaking. That's how it played out too, and was instrumental in my understanding of groups, individuals and the dynamics therein. There's some tough lessons for kids; the sheer reality of the injustice of life. Reading it back (which I just did) I don't think I quite conveyed the anger that motivated my response, not hatred, just disappointment. I can understand it still being part of you. Everyone bullies though, and everyone is bullied (I distinguish between bullying and a campaign of abuse though) and it's all these little scars we pick up on the way - the good, the bad, the other - that makes us who we are.
Regarding your last comment, yes, a bit of physical imperfection isn't a problem, psychopathy and the like, is. Thanks again.
I was struggling for the word but I think this is your most 'punk' piece yet. It's honest about the vulgarity and the grotesque and the, sometimes, under lying resentment towards such affliction. It's unashamably gross, which is always a treat!?
It floats across the finish line because your compassion, understanding and humanity are clearly there too. Lobster Girl is the most I've laughed reading your stuff. I like her for knowing and getting what she wanted. Who'd of thought "Hey spastic, shut it!" could be the beginning of such a tender and successful exchange?
The stories and their descriptions are great, bawdy, spaz fun here, but what I really like is how the writing always snaps into a keen focus whenever you contemplate the emotional, psychological reality of whatever situation. I guess because that's when the kind wisdom of your experience shows through. For me this seems to be your writing's defining characteristic.
Hello Ludwig - always a pleasure to read your detailed and considered comments. 'Punk' is an interesting angle here - the title is especially - with it largely being something to hook the reader, a kind of 'up yours' which was at the heart of punk (think 'Never Mind the Bollocks' etc.)
The underlying resentment here is two-way traffic, since the heroin addict sees the vulgar and grotesque in himself and is often therefore recognizing himself in the disabled. I tried to play with the theme of character awareness throughout, with each having a quite different understanding of their condition, and a couple where you're left guessing.
As usual you've nailed my intentions. With Lobster Girl, the whole story is like so many dysfunctions, drugs, miscommunications, misunderstandings, all thrown into the endless void of human desire - and yet it ended with two people, against quite severe odds, being very close - and as you say 'tender'. I still know that girl.
I'll have to think about the defining characteristic a bit longer. Not because you're wrong - it just deserves more time.
There was a lot of dribble. I doubt I'll beat that dribble-count again.
Thanks for the Birthday wishes, it was quite Joeyistic, weirdly.
May 8, 2022·edited May 8, 2022Liked by Chris Dangerfield
Maybe not 'the' defining but certainly 'a' defining characteristic of your writing is, for me, the observation and contemplation of the lives and events you're describing.. These wild rides are great to read but i most enjoy your analyses of the people and the situations.
At the risk of sounding sycophantic, there is a wisdom there and one that might only be achieved through such experiences? For all the naughtiness, that wisdom, while honest and often painful, is, I felt, always kind also.
And for me, it is that underlying kindness that gives the wisdom its veracity.
Ludwig - I'm with you. This has been a problem for many years, decades, in fact. I had the stories, I had the motivation to write, but I didn't have the age, the wisdom, the understanding. In perhaps the driest way possible, I had a bit of logos, but not much in the way of pathos or ethos. I felt that change while working on my novel and I think it comes down to self-awareness and a compassion for others which was probably the hardest to grasp (and far from master). Writers are largely self-obsessed, especially in this genre, so compassion is quite the hurdle. But you're right, without the emotional pay-off, without the humanity, it's just piss and puke. Thanks again for reading and your input.
Thanks Fillbs, for giving it a read - and nice one for the correction, which I have made. I don't work with an editor for these shorts and continually tweak little bits, but that's a big mistake so thank you for pointing it out.
Very kind of you, since that's a lot of reading. But I am distracted by the possible meanings of 'basspie'. Thank you for leaving a comment, much appreciated.
My old man used to complain that London was looking to swallow up the likes of Dartford, but it is certainly Kent. But sort of not as well. I do certainly like to indulge in description, and yes it's not for everyone. Taking a punt at the literary location of shangri-la is ace, but one man's perfection is another man's Hobbit at the Bull-fighting. Regarding measurements, I would hope to mix them up and have no consistency. I'll have to look into that. Thanks for reading and leaving a comment, Bradley, much appreciated.
It was On Writing that got me thinking on paucity of prose. When Stephen King explains a birdcage on a table with a red tablecloth. The description can be left there and a reader can fill it in, or he can it's a gilded cage, wrought iron, the table can be a dining table, or a coffee table.
Hey bradley. I can't read Stephen King, but only because I'm not interested in the subject. I did try - but 'On Writing' is amazing, I adore what he says about plot especially, but sometimes I intentionally give to many details about things that don't require them, and not enough about things that do. These are the decisions we make as writers. I like to engage the reader in the actual process of reading and writing as part of the storytelling, the same sense of play the snooty French call Jouissance; I'm only saying snooty because it's hard for an Englishman to say Jouissance and get away with it.
Nice. I need a fair amount of isolation and 'doing nothing' before I can write anything of worth, although I spend a fair amount of time staring out of the window when I am writing. Strange that I said that since I am not writing when looking out of the window. A strange beast, the process. Robert Hass said: "It's Hell writing and it's Hell not writing. The only tolerable state is having just written”, which I can identify with to an extent. And Vonnegut said: "When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth", which is encouraging as not only can I identify, but he tells a wonderful tale.
When I was a child my grandparents lived next to a family whose son I used to play with, he had an older brother called David who was a spastic. David's face looked exactly like Sargon of Akkad's (without the beard). Whenever I see Sargon's face I think 'spastic'.
Hello Inkbattle - thanks for giving this a go. I feel the same whenever I see Sargon's face. But he's a decent enough chap, notwithstanding appearing somewhat spasticatial .
Brilliant Chris, throughly enjoyed reading these. You paint a very detailed picture of the situations you have been in. My favourite line is definitely “bless his cotton sock” 🧦
Hey Loulou, thanks for reading. I think that is my favorite line too - and it was an afterthought, a lesson there perhaps. Thanks again.
Sublime. I enjoyed that immensely. I've got to hand it to you. Unlike the seventh spastic.
Thank you, Emma - that's very much appreciated. I'm a bit confused with the numbers as I had a last minute swap around at 5 Am this morning, but I think I know what you're talking about.
Can't beat a good Spaz story, IMO.🔥
Hello Steve - I like a good junkie yarn, probably since they're somewhat disabled which adds a bit of fuel to the fire of life, so the spasticated kind of have a similar struggle - putting the two together made sense because of that. Thanks for reading.
Top work mucker. Really enjoyed it.
Nice one, Anglo - getting someone to sit down and read over ten thousand words these days isn't easy, I appreciated you putting in the time and effort. Best wishes.
Please keep up the good work, we all look forward to the book. How can I buy your last book Tired
Thank you, very kind. Tired, etc is out of print and the publishers ripped me off. But you can find the occasionally second hand copy online. It's not great, I wrote it in a week on sulphate and it shows, it's OK actually, got some good reviews and it was stocked in Waterstones. But you know, I struggle to promote something I wrote nearly thirty years ago. Wait for the next one, it's ridiculous.
It’s not often that I read shit, laugh, read it again to see what I laughed about, then read it again and laugh for good measure, but this line is a killer for anyone who enjoyed a few drug fouled giggles with mates “ Thankfully the door was open, so there would be no two-hour debate about who was going to knock, who was going to speak, how the knock would be knocked and what speaking would be spoken. top man Chris
Lovely comment. it's hard to remain optimistic about any creative pursuit, but a comment like this can fuel me to get busy and get on it. Appreciated.
Amazing! I burst out laughing at “You filthy crustacean whore!” and almost pissed my pants (for reals) at “Face-fuck yourself with one of those disgusting flippers”. Amazing!
The cripple guy, too, and how you talk about Dartford, nails it! We've all been there with the poor kid being laughed at by the gang of cunts, some of us had been smashed, other done the tosser bit, very few have been the hero, gave me a little lump in my throat (not pants).
I like how you described Tree Estate as 'grubby' too... yes, it's grubby alright, though not too bad compared to some of the estates I grew up in over the water... I still fucking hated/hate it, though.
Another fantastic bit of work, there! Thank you!
Nice one, John. When I used to tell the Lobster Girl story as a comedian, I'd say how I was quite the novice sexually when it came to taking the piss out of someone's deformed hands, which of course is true. Some hit, some missed, but she certainly responded well to “Face-fuck yourself with one of those disgusting flippers”, which made me smile. LSD; take it and wait for the weird ones to appear. Thanks for reading and leaving comments, John, much appreciated.
The sixth spastic is heartbreaking. It reminded me of the time I took part in bullying (not a spastic) and how disgusted I was with myself after. That dark spot still affects me almost 40 years later and may explain why I constantly remind my daughter to not make the same mistake. The 7th reminded me of a summer tryst I had many years ago with a hot firecracker my friends and I affectionately called "The Claw" due to her deformed hand. Sadly she was also a nutter so it didn't last. Well done son!
Hello Matt - thanks for reading and leaving a comment. And yes, the 'sixth spastic' is indeed heartbreaking. That's how it played out too, and was instrumental in my understanding of groups, individuals and the dynamics therein. There's some tough lessons for kids; the sheer reality of the injustice of life. Reading it back (which I just did) I don't think I quite conveyed the anger that motivated my response, not hatred, just disappointment. I can understand it still being part of you. Everyone bullies though, and everyone is bullied (I distinguish between bullying and a campaign of abuse though) and it's all these little scars we pick up on the way - the good, the bad, the other - that makes us who we are.
Regarding your last comment, yes, a bit of physical imperfection isn't a problem, psychopathy and the like, is. Thanks again.
I was struggling for the word but I think this is your most 'punk' piece yet. It's honest about the vulgarity and the grotesque and the, sometimes, under lying resentment towards such affliction. It's unashamably gross, which is always a treat!?
It floats across the finish line because your compassion, understanding and humanity are clearly there too. Lobster Girl is the most I've laughed reading your stuff. I like her for knowing and getting what she wanted. Who'd of thought "Hey spastic, shut it!" could be the beginning of such a tender and successful exchange?
The stories and their descriptions are great, bawdy, spaz fun here, but what I really like is how the writing always snaps into a keen focus whenever you contemplate the emotional, psychological reality of whatever situation. I guess because that's when the kind wisdom of your experience shows through. For me this seems to be your writing's defining characteristic.
Anyway... this was a fun one, dribble and all.
Happy Birthday, Joey.
Hello Ludwig - always a pleasure to read your detailed and considered comments. 'Punk' is an interesting angle here - the title is especially - with it largely being something to hook the reader, a kind of 'up yours' which was at the heart of punk (think 'Never Mind the Bollocks' etc.)
The underlying resentment here is two-way traffic, since the heroin addict sees the vulgar and grotesque in himself and is often therefore recognizing himself in the disabled. I tried to play with the theme of character awareness throughout, with each having a quite different understanding of their condition, and a couple where you're left guessing.
As usual you've nailed my intentions. With Lobster Girl, the whole story is like so many dysfunctions, drugs, miscommunications, misunderstandings, all thrown into the endless void of human desire - and yet it ended with two people, against quite severe odds, being very close - and as you say 'tender'. I still know that girl.
I'll have to think about the defining characteristic a bit longer. Not because you're wrong - it just deserves more time.
There was a lot of dribble. I doubt I'll beat that dribble-count again.
Thanks for the Birthday wishes, it was quite Joeyistic, weirdly.
Nice one, Ludwig - really appreciated.
Maybe not 'the' defining but certainly 'a' defining characteristic of your writing is, for me, the observation and contemplation of the lives and events you're describing.. These wild rides are great to read but i most enjoy your analyses of the people and the situations.
At the risk of sounding sycophantic, there is a wisdom there and one that might only be achieved through such experiences? For all the naughtiness, that wisdom, while honest and often painful, is, I felt, always kind also.
And for me, it is that underlying kindness that gives the wisdom its veracity.
That sort of stuff...daaaaaah?
Always a pleasure, Chris. Catch you soon.
Ludwig - I'm with you. This has been a problem for many years, decades, in fact. I had the stories, I had the motivation to write, but I didn't have the age, the wisdom, the understanding. In perhaps the driest way possible, I had a bit of logos, but not much in the way of pathos or ethos. I felt that change while working on my novel and I think it comes down to self-awareness and a compassion for others which was probably the hardest to grasp (and far from master). Writers are largely self-obsessed, especially in this genre, so compassion is quite the hurdle. But you're right, without the emotional pay-off, without the humanity, it's just piss and puke. Thanks again for reading and your input.
Probably "billion" should be "million", but this didn't ruin my enjoyment. A good read!
Thanks Fillbs, for giving it a read - and nice one for the correction, which I have made. I don't work with an editor for these shorts and continually tweak little bits, but that's a big mistake so thank you for pointing it out.
Compelling stuff as always. Thoroughly enjoyed that!
Hello Mr Jiden - thanks for reading and leaving a comment. Can't ask for more than that.
I've read all your substacks but this is the first I've commented on. Really enjoy them, what a great read :)
Very kind of you, since that's a lot of reading. But I am distracted by the possible meanings of 'basspie'. Thank you for leaving a comment, much appreciated.
I love your Spastics story and I’m proud ✌️❤️✊🙏
Ha! Thanks for being proud - they'll use it against you in 2029, but I like the cut of your jib. Thanks for reading.
Dartford is London. Basildon is now, too. Also, why do you use metric measurements?
The only critique I have is that sometimes your prose is too descriptive. Shangri-la lies somewhere amid Hemingway and Tolkien.
My old man used to complain that London was looking to swallow up the likes of Dartford, but it is certainly Kent. But sort of not as well. I do certainly like to indulge in description, and yes it's not for everyone. Taking a punt at the literary location of shangri-la is ace, but one man's perfection is another man's Hobbit at the Bull-fighting. Regarding measurements, I would hope to mix them up and have no consistency. I'll have to look into that. Thanks for reading and leaving a comment, Bradley, much appreciated.
It was On Writing that got me thinking on paucity of prose. When Stephen King explains a birdcage on a table with a red tablecloth. The description can be left there and a reader can fill it in, or he can it's a gilded cage, wrought iron, the table can be a dining table, or a coffee table.
Hey bradley. I can't read Stephen King, but only because I'm not interested in the subject. I did try - but 'On Writing' is amazing, I adore what he says about plot especially, but sometimes I intentionally give to many details about things that don't require them, and not enough about things that do. These are the decisions we make as writers. I like to engage the reader in the actual process of reading and writing as part of the storytelling, the same sense of play the snooty French call Jouissance; I'm only saying snooty because it's hard for an Englishman to say Jouissance and get away with it.
I once saw a Facebook post that said: "when a writer is staring out of a window, they are working." Which the Japanese call Boketto...
The phrase for expelling matter of varying quality is bukkake...
Nice. I need a fair amount of isolation and 'doing nothing' before I can write anything of worth, although I spend a fair amount of time staring out of the window when I am writing. Strange that I said that since I am not writing when looking out of the window. A strange beast, the process. Robert Hass said: "It's Hell writing and it's Hell not writing. The only tolerable state is having just written”, which I can identify with to an extent. And Vonnegut said: "When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth", which is encouraging as not only can I identify, but he tells a wonderful tale.
Really enjoyed that Chris thank you
Nice one, Paul - thanks for giving it a read, much appreciated.
'Seven Spastics', lol
When I was a child my grandparents lived next to a family whose son I used to play with, he had an older brother called David who was a spastic. David's face looked exactly like Sargon of Akkad's (without the beard). Whenever I see Sargon's face I think 'spastic'.
Hello Inkbattle - thanks for giving this a go. I feel the same whenever I see Sargon's face. But he's a decent enough chap, notwithstanding appearing somewhat spasticatial .