65 Comments

.... and as I inhale, everything. Becomes. Nothing. And. Nothing. Becomes. Everything.

Splendid. 👍

Expand full comment
author

Cheers, Mr Humans, Been digging that full-stop ting for a while now. Seems to make sense to be both together and separate. Nice one.

Expand full comment
Oct 2, 2022·edited Oct 2, 2022Liked by Chris Dangerfield

I'm giving this a massive thumbs up & I've not read it properly yet. I've had a tired & emulsional weekend. Well OK maybe not emulsion exactly but mainly water based. Ouzo is 60% water, the other 40% has scrambled my cognitive ability. I'll be on it!

Expand full comment
author

Fair point. Ouzo, ouch. Only ever drunk it once and it put me off all aniseed-based liquors for life. But I imagine there was a pay-off - there usually is. Let me know if you venture back here.

Expand full comment
Oct 2, 2022Liked by Chris Dangerfield

You would like to think that had he not been arrested, a more service-oriented crack dealer would eventually have won market share from him. It seems like a fairly shoddy way to treat your customers, but I get my broadband from Sky so I'm not totally unfamiliar with these practices.

Another cracking little story Danger, keep up the good work.

Expand full comment
author

Hello Jon. In those days a 24/7 crack dealer was quite rare, and a drug like crack needs to be available 24/7 - so anyone who was 'working' 24/7 knew their value and newfound power. Few were quite as unpleasant as Big Daddy Ras, but in their own way, most crack dealers brought a bit of their own damage to the party. Thanks for reading.

Expand full comment
Oct 5, 2022Liked by Chris Dangerfield

If you dig up early videos of Tupac he talks like a drama school geek. Who questioned their life choices more that day? The junkies, the Rasta man or the cop?

Expand full comment
author

It's weird isn't it, you become who you are through childhood and your teens, then contrive something else through your twenties. However, there's a great movie with Tupac and Tim Roth called Gridlock'd, where the pair of them are junkies. It gets a lot right, which is odd for such movies. Daddy Ras was never seen again. My guess he worked with the gavvers and stitched-up his suppliers, took off his wig, and got a flight home to Jamaica, I mean Sri Lanka. Thanks for giving it a read Matt - I'll be questioning you on the details soon.

Expand full comment
Oct 5, 2022Liked by Chris Dangerfield

Saw Gridlocked way back, like when he was still alive I think, and it was a pretty solid flick. Keep up the great work Chris.

Expand full comment

Hahahaha, I knew so soooo many of those 'Glen Bandara' types. Many of them from lower middle class families, but puberty had turned them into Jamaican Yardies, accent and everything...

Another great story, Sir!

Expand full comment
author

I could never work out how they could look me in the eye, knowing full well I knew who they really were. Cheers, John - thanks for giving it a read.

Expand full comment
Oct 4, 2022Liked by Chris Dangerfield

Excellent Chris. Moves along at a great pace. The observations on addiction are top notch and I find the proposition: treating addiction as a disease is self-defeating nonsense, is very interesting and well worth contemplating.

I hate to be "that guy" but there are two small typos in the second line of the paragraph describing the introduction of crack.

Expand full comment
author

Thank you Arklow - always appreciate you giving them a read. Interestingly, the boss of a treatment center I went to a couple of times read it. He didn't mention anything about my reservations regarding the 'disease model' - maybe the world of treatment is coming round? Or maybe he just thought it's my story and I can say what I want. Probably the latter. Also, I don't use an editor for these, so always happy to have typos pointed out, will go edit now. Cheers!

Expand full comment
Oct 4, 2022Liked by Chris Dangerfield

Well I certainly can't see the value of trying to convince people that they have some sort of implacable disease (other than perhaps to scare them from sort of future imbibing).

I much prefer the idea of consciously chosen decisions to either harm or help yourself (and the consequent building of confidence and belief in yourself that you CAN recover).

Expand full comment
author

Treatment centers are about the best options most people have got - desperate families at their wits end. Some treatment centers move more towards the 'you need to change because this won't change itself' angle, which makes the best of a bad situation. But the more orthodox ones play it by the book and I think it can do more damage than good. Drug users don't need excuses to leave rehab, but when they can show their parents leaflets about letting God into your life etc., they will - I certainly did. Psychiatry is at the root of maintaining the disease model, unsurprisingly.

Expand full comment
author

I can't find the typos - what are they???

Expand full comment
Oct 4, 2022Liked by Chris Dangerfield

Fourth paragraph, fourth sentence: And effect waiting for an marketplace

Should be "An effect waiting for a marketplace"??????

Expand full comment
author

Ah yes, someone else already pointed out the 'a', 'and' issue. But the 'And' was intentional - however, now you've pointed it out I think I'll change the 'And' as it doesn't read well, but to "And an effect.....". Much appreciated.

Expand full comment
Oct 3, 2022Liked by Chris Dangerfield

Just brilliant Chris!! I do want to know a few things though, 1) did he wipe? 2) was the baby ok? 😀

Expand full comment
author

Thank you, Loulou, I said he wiped (on the sports pages) and yes, the baby was OK - the girl lived with her parents (and still does I think) but she didn't like to let her parents down and have them look after the baby.

Expand full comment
Oct 3, 2022Liked by Chris Dangerfield

Yes I did venture back. Read it last night off my nut. Left a dodge comment. Read again this morning & deleted comment ha ha.

Great stuff Chris, usual perfect mix of depravity & hilarity.

Expand full comment
author

Ha! No worries, Al - hope you feel better as the day develops.

Expand full comment

It conveyed a complex concept beautifully and simply Chris. The stop - start and yet continuous transition of the initial narcotic effect is very difficult to articulate. But you abssolutely nailed it, using only minimal words, capitals and full stops. It is like a mathematical equation using the toolbox of language.

Always enjoy your writing mate but this was the first time I felt compelled to comment. o7

Expand full comment
author

Thank you, mate, glad I compelled you. I didn't think about the stop/start aspect, but that's what's great about poetic language, that the reader is also contributing to the meaning, not just passively consuming it.

Expand full comment
Jul 5, 2023Liked by Chris Dangerfield

Another great story Chris. I will have to catch up on the ones i have missed.

Expand full comment
author

Cheers mate. This one is pretty much as it happened, which is gold dust for a writer. Not so much gold dust at the time though.

Expand full comment

Add Flight of the Bumblebee to the visual of the Old Bill skidding in shit.

Expand full comment
author

Only just seen this. Great call.

Expand full comment
Nov 4, 2022Liked by Chris Dangerfield

The crack world is a dark place.

I know "rockers" that are still chasing the buzz they got from that very first pipe 25 years ago.

Quite a solitary sport up here, no crack dens in the sticks.

Heard through the grapevine that ice has reared its head in the town.

I hope not.

Nice one Christopher.

Expand full comment
author

It certainly is, Ian. Anything that can make the junk life worse is quite impressive in some respects. Interesting to hear Ice is making an impact there. it's so cheap and easy to produce. You can make a very crude form yourself with stuff from the local hardware store. South East Asia has a problem with it, Thailand especially. Thanks for reading, much appreciated.

Expand full comment
Nov 3, 2022Liked by Chris Dangerfield

Excellent Chris, I remember loads of dealers high on 'powder power' back in the day but 'Glen Bandara' aka 'Daddy Ras' goes the extra mile.

Dark sordid and dirty story....I loved it haha

Expand full comment
author

Nice one, Gayle. How vile do you have to be to exert power on a people already at the bottom of the food chain? it's hardly an achievement. Thanks for reading.

Expand full comment
Oct 19, 2022Liked by Chris Dangerfield

Great stuff.

Expand full comment
author

Cheers, Dennis - only just saw this.

Expand full comment
Oct 15, 2022·edited Oct 15, 2022Liked by Chris Dangerfield

Forgot this was out. Can't really add anything that hasn't already been well said in the comments.

But... a great, punchy piece of writing. One of your most compelling reads yet.

What a grimly tortuous situation that was. Your insights into the mindsets of all involved are always astute and fascinating.

For all the dereliction, I'm always in a strange awe of how some people can exist like this? For all the rattling, it suggests a bizarre fortitude of 'character', however numb at its core?

Gawd knows. I always notice these types on the street, more so since reading you work and I'm always left wondering.

Good stuff, as always. Nice detail about the Schofield. Jah giveth.

Expand full comment
author

Cheers Ludwig. I understand the fascination. Sebastian Horsely said he'd never met a junkie he didn't like, and while I can't quite go that far, in what could be called the skirmishes of the war on drugs, there is a depth of strength, born from a perpetual desperation, that I've not seen anywhere else. No one gets through sustained drug use unscathed, but some come out of the tunnel better, stronger, people than went in; which begs the question, is it so wrong to want to have an adventure?

Expand full comment
Oct 6, 2022Liked by Chris Dangerfield

Another dark and sordid tale that like many of your other substacks sucks me into a world I have no experience of and keeps me there. From my childhood reading of Treasure Island through teenage years and adulthood I judge writing first and foremost by its ability to engage me . If its fact or fiction and yours is , I guess a bit of both I need to feel part of it even if it is an alien environment. So congrats you join a list of varied authors who have done that. I look foreward to the book and future substacks

Expand full comment
author

Hello Martin - what a lovely thing to say. It means a lot, especially since the subject matter can be quite unattractive, and certainly puts a fair amount of people off. Making that sort of world engaging is half of the my struggle (whoops!) so when it works out I've succeeded in some small way. It's difficult to care for characters who don't care for themselves. This has been the issue with the novel, making the protagonist likeable. In retrospect I think I just made everyone else even worse, so in context he's pretty good. Anyway, rambling. Thanks for reading.

Expand full comment