47 Comments

We've all been there...

Honestly, the few times I've smoked crack, I've always felt like it was a 'Black' drug... Isn't that funny? I wonder if the Blacks feel like cocaine is a White Supremacist drug? I do feel that all races look down on the skag heads, though...

Really looking forward to this novel, Sir! Great work!

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Cheers, John. Mr Self was telling me about a bloke he knew who would get so excited about scoring crack he'd puke even before it arrived. I can understand that, but thankfully I never reached that level of anticipation.

All races should look down on Skagheads, we like it. Thanks for reading, JP.

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Jesus I very nearly heaved myself lol.

Can you get her on the stream to relive this evening of pleasure?

Now you know why a nice little line of finely chopped flake would have been preferential...well to her at least. Awesome stuff again Chris.

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Cheers, Al. In truth it was the H that had her puking, always does when you first try it. Probably your body trying to tell you something. The other end though - who knows? 'nice little lines'? it doesn't work!! Nice one, Al - thanks for reading.

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No worries. Can't wait for the book.

I was no stranger to 'chasing' the projectile vomit. Strangely it was rhe way I would feel for rhe next 4 hours that put me off. For me the 3 2 1 principle always works, 3x bottles of chilled prosecco, 2x people, 1x bag of decent flake, aways an evening of plezzure 😉😉

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Each to their own, but unless it's crack or on the spike, I can't be doing with cocaine. In truth I can't be doing with it at all any more. But in the good/bad old days, I just didn't really felt like it had enough of an effect up the snout, just left me wanting more immediately. For me it was more 10 1 3 principle, 10 rocks, 1 me, 3 hours of porn. I feel terribly dirty all of a sudden.

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Brings a new meaning to a crap date....

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I've had three more of those crap dates too. When you see a pattern forming..... Thanks for giving it a read, Andrew.

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Very much looking forward to reading the novel in full. I enjoyed your attempts to gentrify crack!

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Cheers, Jon. Lost four Subs with this teaser. It didn't have a title and the one I gave it was more of a joke. Should have thought about it a bit more.

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Don’t get to hung up on it chris..if they don’t know what there getting by now,they never will....I am also sure the title will also draw peoples curiosity...swings and roundabouts...you got to be true to yourself,if your changing things to suits others,then it stops being what you intended,then changing stuff means your not true to yourself,making all a bit pointless..

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Hmm, I have been thinking about changing it. I wouldn't usually put any words down that I haven't considered at length. I certainly wouldn't use a line like that unless it was dialogue. But the damage is done, even if I changed it on Substack, the emails have gone out. Four subs is more than I've lost in my entire time on Substack, all off the back of one story. No biggy though, I get about ten new subs a week, which is good.

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Crikey, what a mess. You should have saved the gear for someone who could appreciate it xo

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Well, you know how it goes - you think you're doing someone a favour and that happens.

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Nice tits shame about the arse, 😉

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Yup, it wasn't her arse's finest moment. Nice one, Liz.

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Ahhh. Reminds me of my youth. Crack wasn’t involved as we were innocent country kids. More like anything we could rob from our parents drink cabinets.

Later, sometime around midnight on Friday nights the puke would be coming out. Puke induced by cheap cider, brown ale, Pernod, advancer, tequila, bells, Sherry, xxxx, bottled Guinness and a few biftas loaded with squidgy black..

Some of the lingering girls would be getting frisky now as the inhibitions really were gone.

Vomit tasting snogging became a thing.

God…please god. If you exist please please please save my children from that version of “coming of age” . Let theirs be elegant and noble. Somehow let the dice roll better for them. I can’t protect them forever.

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Yes, that must be quite the concern. Some of the things we and the local girls got up to in our teens was shocking. Vomit-snogging - nailed it. it would take a lot to keep you off though, with all those hormones driving you forward, regardless. Thanks for giving it a read, Rollo.

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Wow! You managed to paint a very vivid picture in my mind of the situation. I'm only just out of the shower, but I could almost go and take another one.

Good luck with the book!

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You know what, there's part of my novel that when I'm writing or reading/editing I remember they actually happened and that I was actually there, doing that, being that person. Many different emotions dealing with your past in such a public way. You can shower, but you can't clean your conscience. Cheers, Tige.

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Interesting read, ive had the puke a few times but the diarrhoea must have been grim.

Can't wait for the book too come out to unburden myself from the secret juice.

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Ha! It was the icing on the cake really. I was more concerned that she was still game, in a semi-conscious sort of way. Nice one, Willow.

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Just found you via @thearrogantsage (new here so not sure if this is the right way to name check). Liked your piece a lot - more elegant than Bukowski? Maybe the London setting (my patch) made it more familiar to me. I've just been reading a poorly written (sadly by a new friend) autobiography of sexual escapades in London which managed to put me off ever wanting a casual encounter (which is not my thing anyway) but you evoked the whole gory shitty madness of it all that I kinda wanted to be there. Thanks for making 1 am on a cold Camden night interesting.

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Hello Nick - apologies for the late reply but I've had all sorts of life dramas getting in the way. Thank you for giving it a go, it's really appreciated. I'm glad I managed to give you what you wanted. Writing about sexual encounters is a minefield of potential cringe explosions, at least when you're living them you can lie to yourself - and anyone else who may be involved. Thank you for giving it a go and leaving a comment, it means a lot to me. If you have time, check out 'Whatever Happened to Hunting'. it's quite long for a short, and there is what you could loosely (generously?) call a sexual encounter, but you mentioned Bukowski, and what I like most about his work is the depth of the relationships he manages with people who leave his life as quick as they arrived, and 'Whatever Happened to Hunting' has a touch of that about it.

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I was thinking, "at least the puke was in the bath," then the incontinence...

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Weirdly, me too.

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Bukowski is your hero and model ...but in my books the student has outshone the master in gritty realism and discrptive debauchery. Also 'The quaint art of seduction reads as a dire warning against drug use snd hedonism. .A tale of filth with a stark moral undertone .

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Thank you Raymond, very kind words. Bukowski is certainly in there, Post Office had quite the profound effect on a young me. Other people have said Hunter S Thompson, David Foster Wallace, Burroughs, Houellebecq - and they're all in there, and others - and life, of course. But with the writers, I aim to be more than the sum of those parts (only made possible through the work they did, of course) in as much as my voice is mine., but it took a good thirty years to get there, and still occasionally fails, and I write something less than the sum of the parts! Less in fact than any of the parts. Thank you for reading and leaving a comment, always appreciated.

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BUkowski is your literarey hero and model , but the student has clearly outshone the master . If anyone needs a warning against taking drugs and hedonism ,all they need to do is read 'The quaint art of seduction .'

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Hello Raymond - I think I replied to this comment somewhere else? Unless Substack is messing about?

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It started out tragic, then suddenly became quite positive, then quickly descended into quite a vivid and funny vision of disaster. I still thought about it though.

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It's odd because, this is a sample ripped out of a much bigger piece (the novel) so there's a few bits in this (including 'we all have limits') that refer to other parts in the story, so a lot is missed. But I needed to put something out on the back of a load of new subscribers. Not streaming tonight, going to write a new one of these shorts. Thanks for reading.

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Ha ha, I knew you'd say that. All in moderation people...well I say that but it's my birthday & I've started on the single malt already oops!!

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Looking forward to the novel Chris, keep up the good work. :)

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Nice one, Jess - I'm sticking with November. Lord knows why. Thanks for reading.

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