Looks like I picked the wrong day to encourage my poor old Nan to read a Dangerfield Substack article....😳
"Hey Nan" I said,
"There's this great English fellow who hosts a YouTube channel who is based in Cambodia. He's gathered a fantastic community of wonderful people from all over the world and has had quite an interesting lifetime of often surreal experiences he shares with us. He's well read and deceptively wise with a great sense of humour. His passion is writing and he has a great way with words, and a vast vocabulary, drawing from a deep well of personal experience.
He regularly writes some excellent and eloquent short stories on Substack® and I know you like to read so I'll send you his latest when it comes out...."
EDIT...
Just got a reply from Nan :
She writes..
" Dear Grandson, I just read that Substack from that Dangerfield chap. I found it quite confusing with those foreign names and the story was very distressing.... "
Haha, that's a decent response from your nan. I mean it was distressing, I too get confused with the foreign names, and you know, a working cock is a good cock. Cheers, Humans, really appreciated you reading it, and leaving a comment.
I now know far too much about your knob. The only sperm description you missed was gametes. All those Thai ladies furiously attending your lad, massaging it back to life, i could almost hear the Rocky theme playing in the back ground.
The testicular taxon is there to be shared. As I'm sure you can imagine, Patong isn't a great place to be when your little fella doesn't work and you can't stand up without fainting if you don't sit down again quickly. Nice one Mousecat - always appreciated.
Hello Rob, saw the comment come through and thought the start, 'Word porn' could go either way, but apparently it's a good thing, so I'll take it. Thanks for reading, it's a clunky old read, like a clunky old car, but sometimes they're the journey's you remember. Anyway, much appreciated.
Hello Ms G - personally I'm terrified. There's not much - if anything - I left out, and it's certainly not me at my finest - although perhaps that is me at my finest, which adds even more fuel to my ego fire. Much appreciated.
Wow! That is the first time in my life that a bloke has given me a semi! Reading that, I mean, not your photo! Great teaser! I really cannot wait to read the book............................
That's a good thing, John. There's parts of the manuscript I really fought with my editor because I didn't want to just tell stories of how I had loads of great sex, because I didn't, I missed out on loads of great sex, and yet those moments wouldn't have occurred had I been able. Don't get me wrong, there's a fair amount of fucking in their, but more puking I think, and not always mine. A lot of crying too. And some sex and crying, which is always traumatic. Thanks for reading and sharing your semi.
Great read Chris. I think every man can recognise those feelings. ( Not the heroin withdrawal) Like all of your substacks to date I have no experience of the lifestyle or environments but feel like I'm there....so I guess thats the art of good writing. Get this book finished it'll be a cracker. I definately feel there is a movie there too though I doubt anyone would finance it as it is a real human story
Nice one, Martin - thanks for giving it a read. Not only a potential movie but even the book will be problematic. Amazon are a bit funny (that is 'Woke') and it will almost certainly be artificially demoted (like woke material is artificially elevated) regardless of sales, reviews, traction etc. That's just the world we live in right now. But I'll get busy marketing it myself online, I have my YouTube viewers, my legacy stand-up comedy audience, and a few other tricks up my sleeve. Thanks for your kind words.
Cheers, Al. Much appreciated. And yes, I'm going through a phase of believing it's going to have all been worth it. As usual I released this teaser way before time and then found about five glaring typos, but that's the nature of the beast. Oh well. So far, so good.
Nice one! Loved it. 260000 word novel, I seem to remember you have said in a stream? Brilliant! 800 pages or so, I guess? PS! Where will you publish? Amazon? Lulu? Or with a publishing house? Cheers BV CRONOS
Thank you, that really means a lot. And yes, there's about another 255,000 words much like this. I mean the typos and stuff will get sorted (Good old, ChatGPT) but yes, 800 - 850 pp, although There's some sections that still might get the axe. Thanks for reading it and leaving a comment. 'Loved it' are a lovely couple of words to read.
Oh, apologies - Amazon. I'll market the book myself and I have a bit of a legacy stand-up comedy following as well as my YouTube, so I think the 1000 True Fans rule will be my angle. I've also picked up a lot of people on Substack, which I'm promoting more. As long as people can buy it, that's the main thing. I have faith I can tell them about it.
I wouldn't go Trad Pub, it's a dying institution and they expect you to do all the marketing really anyway. They'll sign the writer with the bigger social media over the one with the better manuscript. technology has made them obsolete - so have their percentages, lol.
I've already had a Developmental Edit with marked and tracked changes. The editor has made some good points and highlighted that I over explain, which I do.
I grafted on a shit ton of information and back story that can work as dialogue instead.
Be careful with editors. I'm sure you are. But over explaining according to what criteria? Unless you've agreed in advance what the book is to be (which is a weird thing to do unless it's a 100% commercial project) you might end up removing yourself from the text.
Cool - I think as long as you can market it and have a plan (have you read 'Write Publish Repeat'? or already have an audience, then Amazon KDP is fine - they all have their pros and cons. I did self-publish a novel before about 25 years ago, did pretty well too, but that's another story. Best of luck with it.
It will check out that book! Thanks for the tip! I plan on trying many avenues to draw an audience. Buying traffic etc. This is a hobby, so no plan on world domination:)
I can email you a link to a PDF version of Write Publish repeat if you want. It's basically a model where as long as you can get 1000 true fans, and are getting 3 - 5 publications out a year (not all necessarily novels, they could be a book of shorts, a novella, a novel broken into five pieces, etc., you only have to shift about 50 a month of each (not that difficult) for it to be a living wage. Ad they all promote each other. Also, but year 4you have 12 - 20 books already written, so the income is largely passive. Write Publish Repeat is a bit dated (Amazon KDP is still called 'Createspace', for instance) but the model - the idea - is proven and still used successfully by many people today.
I actually might be changing my mind on this by the way - and thought it only fair to tell you. Not having an editor to work with is proving very difficult. I might have to sell my soul after all, and predictably most of the agents I've looked at are 'Particularly interested in minority and underrepresented writers' that is, not me - which is weird as I'm certainly underrepresented.
Nicely done son. Strange how a hangover makes men randy. Maybe because our bodies think we are dying and there is that need to spread the seed before the curtains close.
Thank you, Matt, much appreciated. I take it the hangover/randy comment was just a thought you had and nothing to do with this story. Nothing wrong with that, and I think there's some truth to your hypothesis. Been a while since I've had a proper booze hangover but certainly as a young man if I woke-up after a session with a female there'd usually be some kind of morning glory action. What would you like to discuss next?
I imagine withdrawal from heroin feels like death. So does a bad hangover. Only one makes you want to leap into bed with a lady though it seems. Yes it was a random thought but it ties loosely to your story.
I 'spose you do get a heroin hangover, like one every ten years when you stop, and it goes on for two months. You can tie in loosely or tightly Matt, it's your call in these spaces. I'm all about inclusivity.
When you’ve lost your cock, and pretty Thai ladies can’t get it working, you’ve really poisoned yourself. The last chance of temporary relief from the sick, is gone. A brutal state to be in but interesting to read about.
That made me laugh, and then stare at the horizon of life that was once where I resided. Dark times they were. There's a ... how should I say ... 'forced arousal' later in the manuscript, with me being the forced, and she saw it through to the end. I didn't have the strength to fight her off, which is a weird position to be in, like I'd been drugged (but actually the opposite). No jokes, I was left with a mess of feelings.
Dangerfield is a skillful writer and storyteller. I'm glad his cock worked in the end! The novel will be a banger but I can't say that I'll recommend it to my elderly family members.
Hello Adam - thank you for taking the time to read and leave a comment, really appreciated. Probably exclude your young family members too? I think the sweet spot is 25 - 45. Thank you for your kind words.
As always, a fascinating read into a subject that I wouldn't have understood without your insights. I can't wait for the novel. I suspect that 50 shades enjoyers will find it to be a step up from what they have been used to.
Hello Mr Tige, that's a strange angle that I haven't considered. Although the truth be told the cock doth protest too much several times later in the tale, so '50 shades enjoyers' might feel it all a bit of an anti-climax. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.
Thank you, John. I published two other teasers on Substack but I kind of edited them to stand alone a bit more. This is what there's endless pages of, so I thought it more relevant as a teaser. Much appreciated.
Ha, I didn't notice them but I barely went to school let alone college or uni. So I won't offer you my proof reading services. Thick as mince!
Ai sounds the way to go. At least send a chunk up with known typos & see how it does. It'll probably return with a message saying it's too misogynistic or some other wokery!
I've read some of your work on here before and hands down you are my favourite writer!! I'm in stiches over here as usual. Keep up the great work. Peace
Very much enjoyed that Christof. And I'm some type of mong that finds it actually very hard to concentrate on much reading. Books are usually read out of necessity, or on the odd occasion, much like the works of H.G Wells, Alan Partridge's autobiography or Mr Bean's Diary, because I actually enjoy them. Looking forward to reading more. Love your way to story telling even tho ashamed as I am to say I had to Google a couple of words.
PS. Ending on a nice cheery note, had to have my 15 year old Border Collie put to sleep today (told you it was cheery), so my head is a bit all over the place, this helped, dunno how, distracted me, kept me grounded, some other explanation I know nothing about, who knows? But yeah, uh thanks?? Ciao for now.
Hello Chris - I only just saw the notification for this comment. Sorry to hear about your dog, I've been through it once, never again. I bet it was 15 good years though.
I'm glad you gave the story a go, and that you 'love' the way I tell 'em! It's a particularly encouraging comment as I want to appeal to people who don't necessarily consider themselves readers, because for one sinister reason or another, that's an intended consequence of The Culture Industry that steers content to people rather than people finding content themselves. Thank you for leaving the comment too, much appreciated.
Looks like I picked the wrong day to encourage my poor old Nan to read a Dangerfield Substack article....😳
"Hey Nan" I said,
"There's this great English fellow who hosts a YouTube channel who is based in Cambodia. He's gathered a fantastic community of wonderful people from all over the world and has had quite an interesting lifetime of often surreal experiences he shares with us. He's well read and deceptively wise with a great sense of humour. His passion is writing and he has a great way with words, and a vast vocabulary, drawing from a deep well of personal experience.
He regularly writes some excellent and eloquent short stories on Substack® and I know you like to read so I'll send you his latest when it comes out...."
EDIT...
Just got a reply from Nan :
She writes..
" Dear Grandson, I just read that Substack from that Dangerfield chap. I found it quite confusing with those foreign names and the story was very distressing.... "
"But I'm glad his cock worked in the end...."
Love - Nan.
Haha, that's a decent response from your nan. I mean it was distressing, I too get confused with the foreign names, and you know, a working cock is a good cock. Cheers, Humans, really appreciated you reading it, and leaving a comment.
I now know far too much about your knob. The only sperm description you missed was gametes. All those Thai ladies furiously attending your lad, massaging it back to life, i could almost hear the Rocky theme playing in the back ground.
The testicular taxon is there to be shared. As I'm sure you can imagine, Patong isn't a great place to be when your little fella doesn't work and you can't stand up without fainting if you don't sit down again quickly. Nice one Mousecat - always appreciated.
And before you say it....Not "Eye of the Tiger" the other one were Balboa runs up the steps.
I can't be sure, but I think the Rocky training montage trope gets a few lines in the manuscript somewhere. Most things do.
I don't think the 'eye of the Japs' was going anywhere either lol
Word porn, dirty and seedy yet lovely.
Good stuff Danger, enjoyed it.
Hello Rob, saw the comment come through and thought the start, 'Word porn' could go either way, but apparently it's a good thing, so I'll take it. Thanks for reading, it's a clunky old read, like a clunky old car, but sometimes they're the journey's you remember. Anyway, much appreciated.
I always love reading your substack, even better when it's a teaser for the novel. Can't wait to get the whole thing to read.
Hello Ms G - personally I'm terrified. There's not much - if anything - I left out, and it's certainly not me at my finest - although perhaps that is me at my finest, which adds even more fuel to my ego fire. Much appreciated.
Oooh you slut 😆
Only when able, Eliza, only when able. Thank you for reading it and leaving a comment - always appreciated.
Wow! That is the first time in my life that a bloke has given me a semi! Reading that, I mean, not your photo! Great teaser! I really cannot wait to read the book............................
Great work, bruva!
That's a good thing, John. There's parts of the manuscript I really fought with my editor because I didn't want to just tell stories of how I had loads of great sex, because I didn't, I missed out on loads of great sex, and yet those moments wouldn't have occurred had I been able. Don't get me wrong, there's a fair amount of fucking in their, but more puking I think, and not always mine. A lot of crying too. And some sex and crying, which is always traumatic. Thanks for reading and sharing your semi.
Great read Chris. I think every man can recognise those feelings. ( Not the heroin withdrawal) Like all of your substacks to date I have no experience of the lifestyle or environments but feel like I'm there....so I guess thats the art of good writing. Get this book finished it'll be a cracker. I definately feel there is a movie there too though I doubt anyone would finance it as it is a real human story
Nice one, Martin - thanks for giving it a read. Not only a potential movie but even the book will be problematic. Amazon are a bit funny (that is 'Woke') and it will almost certainly be artificially demoted (like woke material is artificially elevated) regardless of sales, reviews, traction etc. That's just the world we live in right now. But I'll get busy marketing it myself online, I have my YouTube viewers, my legacy stand-up comedy audience, and a few other tricks up my sleeve. Thanks for your kind words.
"it’s all good humoured, apart from the catastrophic destruction of my masculinity I’m suffering"
Just one of my favourite lines from this teaser. Nice one Chris, I know it's gonna be good. Not long now, get it done.
Cheers, Al. Much appreciated. And yes, I'm going through a phase of believing it's going to have all been worth it. As usual I released this teaser way before time and then found about five glaring typos, but that's the nature of the beast. Oh well. So far, so good.
Nice one! Loved it. 260000 word novel, I seem to remember you have said in a stream? Brilliant! 800 pages or so, I guess? PS! Where will you publish? Amazon? Lulu? Or with a publishing house? Cheers BV CRONOS
Thank you, that really means a lot. And yes, there's about another 255,000 words much like this. I mean the typos and stuff will get sorted (Good old, ChatGPT) but yes, 800 - 850 pp, although There's some sections that still might get the axe. Thanks for reading it and leaving a comment. 'Loved it' are a lovely couple of words to read.
Oh, apologies - Amazon. I'll market the book myself and I have a bit of a legacy stand-up comedy following as well as my YouTube, so I think the 1000 True Fans rule will be my angle. I've also picked up a lot of people on Substack, which I'm promoting more. As long as people can buy it, that's the main thing. I have faith I can tell them about it.
Great! I plan on publishing my first novel this year as well and is looking into where to publish:)
I wouldn't go Trad Pub, it's a dying institution and they expect you to do all the marketing really anyway. They'll sign the writer with the bigger social media over the one with the better manuscript. technology has made them obsolete - so have their percentages, lol.
I've already had a Developmental Edit with marked and tracked changes. The editor has made some good points and highlighted that I over explain, which I do.
I grafted on a shit ton of information and back story that can work as dialogue instead.
Be careful with editors. I'm sure you are. But over explaining according to what criteria? Unless you've agreed in advance what the book is to be (which is a weird thing to do unless it's a 100% commercial project) you might end up removing yourself from the text.
Cool - I think as long as you can market it and have a plan (have you read 'Write Publish Repeat'? or already have an audience, then Amazon KDP is fine - they all have their pros and cons. I did self-publish a novel before about 25 years ago, did pretty well too, but that's another story. Best of luck with it.
It will check out that book! Thanks for the tip! I plan on trying many avenues to draw an audience. Buying traffic etc. This is a hobby, so no plan on world domination:)
I can email you a link to a PDF version of Write Publish repeat if you want. It's basically a model where as long as you can get 1000 true fans, and are getting 3 - 5 publications out a year (not all necessarily novels, they could be a book of shorts, a novella, a novel broken into five pieces, etc., you only have to shift about 50 a month of each (not that difficult) for it to be a living wage. Ad they all promote each other. Also, but year 4you have 12 - 20 books already written, so the income is largely passive. Write Publish Repeat is a bit dated (Amazon KDP is still called 'Createspace', for instance) but the model - the idea - is proven and still used successfully by many people today.
Thanks for the great info! Please do send me the PDF, Mr. Dangerfield!
I actually might be changing my mind on this by the way - and thought it only fair to tell you. Not having an editor to work with is proving very difficult. I might have to sell my soul after all, and predictably most of the agents I've looked at are 'Particularly interested in minority and underrepresented writers' that is, not me - which is weird as I'm certainly underrepresented.
Nicely done son. Strange how a hangover makes men randy. Maybe because our bodies think we are dying and there is that need to spread the seed before the curtains close.
Thank you, Matt, much appreciated. I take it the hangover/randy comment was just a thought you had and nothing to do with this story. Nothing wrong with that, and I think there's some truth to your hypothesis. Been a while since I've had a proper booze hangover but certainly as a young man if I woke-up after a session with a female there'd usually be some kind of morning glory action. What would you like to discuss next?
I imagine withdrawal from heroin feels like death. So does a bad hangover. Only one makes you want to leap into bed with a lady though it seems. Yes it was a random thought but it ties loosely to your story.
I 'spose you do get a heroin hangover, like one every ten years when you stop, and it goes on for two months. You can tie in loosely or tightly Matt, it's your call in these spaces. I'm all about inclusivity.
When you’ve lost your cock, and pretty Thai ladies can’t get it working, you’ve really poisoned yourself. The last chance of temporary relief from the sick, is gone. A brutal state to be in but interesting to read about.
That made me laugh, and then stare at the horizon of life that was once where I resided. Dark times they were. There's a ... how should I say ... 'forced arousal' later in the manuscript, with me being the forced, and she saw it through to the end. I didn't have the strength to fight her off, which is a weird position to be in, like I'd been drugged (but actually the opposite). No jokes, I was left with a mess of feelings.
Dangerfield is a skillful writer and storyteller. I'm glad his cock worked in the end! The novel will be a banger but I can't say that I'll recommend it to my elderly family members.
Hello Adam - thank you for taking the time to read and leave a comment, really appreciated. Probably exclude your young family members too? I think the sweet spot is 25 - 45. Thank you for your kind words.
Yep, definitely 25-45. I agree about young family members.
As always, a fascinating read into a subject that I wouldn't have understood without your insights. I can't wait for the novel. I suspect that 50 shades enjoyers will find it to be a step up from what they have been used to.
Hello Mr Tige, that's a strange angle that I haven't considered. Although the truth be told the cock doth protest too much several times later in the tale, so '50 shades enjoyers' might feel it all a bit of an anti-climax. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.
Great teaser. I will definitely being buying the book when it come out
Thank you, John. I published two other teasers on Substack but I kind of edited them to stand alone a bit more. This is what there's endless pages of, so I thought it more relevant as a teaser. Much appreciated.
Ha, I didn't notice them but I barely went to school let alone college or uni. So I won't offer you my proof reading services. Thick as mince!
Ai sounds the way to go. At least send a chunk up with known typos & see how it does. It'll probably return with a message saying it's too misogynistic or some other wokery!
That's exactly what has happened already - BUT - it does proof-read it and produce the required results before complaining, so fuck them.
I've read some of your work on here before and hands down you are my favourite writer!! I'm in stiches over here as usual. Keep up the great work. Peace
Good gosh - you can't ask for more than that. That's really very kind of you - thanks for giving it a go, much appreciated.
Very much enjoyed that Christof. And I'm some type of mong that finds it actually very hard to concentrate on much reading. Books are usually read out of necessity, or on the odd occasion, much like the works of H.G Wells, Alan Partridge's autobiography or Mr Bean's Diary, because I actually enjoy them. Looking forward to reading more. Love your way to story telling even tho ashamed as I am to say I had to Google a couple of words.
PS. Ending on a nice cheery note, had to have my 15 year old Border Collie put to sleep today (told you it was cheery), so my head is a bit all over the place, this helped, dunno how, distracted me, kept me grounded, some other explanation I know nothing about, who knows? But yeah, uh thanks?? Ciao for now.
Hello Chris - I only just saw the notification for this comment. Sorry to hear about your dog, I've been through it once, never again. I bet it was 15 good years though.
I'm glad you gave the story a go, and that you 'love' the way I tell 'em! It's a particularly encouraging comment as I want to appeal to people who don't necessarily consider themselves readers, because for one sinister reason or another, that's an intended consequence of The Culture Industry that steers content to people rather than people finding content themselves. Thank you for leaving the comment too, much appreciated.