Thank you Ciarán, It's taken a while - a lifetime - to 'find my pen' so to speak, but I'm certainly somewhere that feels like writing is working for me rather than against me - most of the time anyway. Very kind words.
Part one is littered with clues. I thought it might be interesting to write half the story without telling. This platform gave me that opportunity, which I think has proven interesting. Thanks for reading the second part. That is the end.
So, did she just want to rob the bloke and think by making him out to be the wrongun it would keep her in the clear? If so what a way to go about it.
Im guessing women can become the worst liars and most manipulative junkies as certain traits would become weaponised. I know the ones i knew growing up all theived like arabs unless they needed you and often that made little difference.
Thank you Ian. Not that I'd expect (m)any people to, but if you read part one it's littered with clues and indicators that all might not be what it seems. Glad you enjoyed it, means a lot to me.
Awesome. So this it what you've been up to then. I think a 6 hour midterm live-stream would have been a lot darker. Glad you opted for this. At least it has a slightly happier ending!
Yes, I realised a midterm stream was never going to be long enough due to the fact elections these days go on until the cheats prosper. So yes, between work and my novel manuscript, I've been doing this. 'Slightly happier', yes, but not entirely happy. So it goes. Cheers, Al.
Daaaaaamn! What a c*unt of a woman! I want to be really surprised that a bird would do something like that... but unfortunately, I'm not surprised at all. I've known so many of these types of fucking evil witches - I feel bad that I was calling for his balls to be removed yesterday... poor bastard - though... if he's shacked up with a skank like that I can really only blame him - and feel sorry for him at the same time. Well, I hope he sorted his head out and ran as far away from her as possible and now living a relatively happy life? Poor fucker.
Bitches like that... grrrrrr
Well, thanks for at least putting my mind at ease about those kids not being used as sex dolls, anyway...
Hello John - it was a bit cheeky not making it clear there was more to come, but there's a kind of 'truth' in writing that is at once stable and fragile. As I've said to other people in these comments, part one was riddled with clues, but we're all easily manipulated really, especially when it comes to certain things. Thanks for reading and leaving interesting comments - much appreciated.
The plot twist is ace. I’ve been deceived by junkies and boy, can they spin a believable yarn.
My mate Duggie the Glaswegian was needing some work. I took him on for a refurb I was doing in London. He was always really late but he’d work late and we’d get stuff done.
Because the buses were so unreliable-according to Dug I lent him my bike- which got nicked the very next day.
Years later he confessed to me as I drove him from rehab in Weston-Super-Mare to Glasgow in my van so he could take his place at the Glasgow school of fine art.
Here was me, grafting, wearing myself out and my junkie bastard mate gets money thrown at him and a place at a top art school in his 40’s…all for free.
I’ll drop him an email, see if he’s still alive. We had a ball in the late 90’s in London.
Love your story Chris. The photo of you in the suit is cool. Looks like a charity shop number though. Surely it’s not bespoke stop you is it?
If you don't learn to deceive with absolute conviction, you'll not last long in that world, or you'll be sick most of the time - with much the same results. And yet, even after decades at the heart of it you can still get caught out. Telling the truth becomes harder that lying .I'll have you know that suit was fully bespoke, but I used to wear it for stand-up though, so it took a few knocks on the way. And as much as I can understand the resentment of him off to have fun at art school after you've been grafting hard, he might actually positively contribute to society rather than continue being a parasite. Ping him an email. Thanks for reading, Rollo.
Poetic timing with that comment, Paxmax - it was the Cambodian Moon Festival 'Ok Om Bok' just yesterday. But yes, strange how a story can seem to ramp up even when the 'worst part' was a fiction. Thank you for reading.
Saw that doc with Charles Bronson that dude is a skull cracker. I bet Frederick used a hammer. You Brit’s love to use fing hammers it’s absolutely brutal. What wrong with a switch from a maple tree? Well done son entertaining as always.
Thank you Matt, much appreciated. I don't know if the link will show up, if it doesn't, search YouTube for "LEGEND - Bar Fight Scene - Starring Tom Hardy" - Tom Hardy plays both of the Kray Twins in the movie, but it's a brutal fight scene - with hammers. Two claw-hammers to be precise. Thanks for giving it a read. Here's the link on the off-chance it shows: https://youtu.be/5zb2DTOSzDM
awkward is how I feel and your violin concerto is helping, I will listen to the last few minutes in peace. Are you like a nuisance writer? Making me feel squirmy o7
'a nuisance writer?' amazing! I guess so. Did you really listen to The Devil's Trill Sonata? It's a beautiful piece of music, but you've got to get the right performance. Interestingly, I'm currently writing a piece about going to a Magic Convention (as in conjuring) and in a way it's more vile than most of my stuff. Thanks for reading, Linda - really appreciated.
"Two words", lol - I liked that. Thanks for your kind words. It's taken a lot of terrible short stories over the years but finally finding my feet. Really appreciate your encouragement.
An alarming conclusion to this tale. Another great but emotional read. It's interesting to at least witness that kind of vicious deception. One forgets to what degree people can and will lie, even when they know it'll be ruinous.
Nov 12, 2022·edited Nov 12, 2022Liked by Chris Dangerfield
... eh ...just one more thing, as Columbo might have said...
Been thinking about this for a while;
The arresting nature of Matt's twisted letter and then the shock of realising the vile depths of Jane's deception.
But... this is you, Chris, recounting someone else's writing that in itself was a work of fiction.
A fabricated letter that served very well as a great piece of 'horror' writing ie. It was very horrible yet morbidly compelling and emotionally speaking, clearly, very charged.
Was Jane's own pen really that cunning and perverse? And imaginative?
A work of fiction that serves as a deception within a story. Hmmm?
Re-reading it, I'm increasingly intrigued because, while this could be a pretty straight recollection of a very sordid tale, I can't help thinking it could otherwise be a writer's fascination with and examination of, the power of writing to enrage or appall? ...to explore, to explain the depths of the depraved and taboo?
I may be reading way too much into it but I like the fact that I can't be sure either way.
As dark as it was, this was a great bit of writing.
...and just when I thought you left a short and largely inconsequential comment, you come back a la Columbo and find a seam. I remember very little of the actual letter. It was child abuse, it was photography - but you've nailed it - when recounting such a tale, the writer has to remember that the readers don't know the characters, especially in a short, you don't have time to flesh out an emotional journey and have people actually care about them - it's all quite immediate. To get the desired effect I had to dredge the depths of my own imagination - I had to answer the question: 'What would be the most vile, unpleasant, and horrific situation?' But there's more - it had to be believable, and you have to ask, how can something be believable unless people can identify with it? Get it wrong and it would just be at best surreal, at worst, just unbelievable - and fail to create the desired effect. I guess horror writers have to deal with this all the time; someone invented The Exorcist. Someone invented the Silence of The Lambs. And people consume such stuff and enjoy it. I thought 'The Senior' was particularly unpleasant, left a bad taste in my laptop. Nice one Ludwig, always appreciated.
I feel positively tricked! So enjoyable reading your work though (however dark it gets)! Just need this novel, or a hilariously narrated audio book! The book needs to be released. Its the right thing to do.
It was a bit naughty not publishing both parts together like I have before with two-part shorts, but usually because of Substack's word limit. But it was sort of part of the story for people to make the same assumptions based on limited - or at least partial - information. If you look back at part one, there's plenty of little clues. Thanks for reading and leaving a comment. The novel is coming, it's just a lot of work and I don't have a lot of free time.
Excellent (as usual) Chris. This is one of those stories that once read, has the reader stare at the wall for a while contemplating it's meaning to both the reader and the narrator and promotes a second reading to 'see if I missed something'
Your great skill is in the seamless descriptive transitions of the dual life of the addict trying to navigate through the chaos of their life, while remaining focused intently on the primal demands of the body for medication. It's like two people inhabiting the same body each with their own priorities. Spinning plates. It's commonly done but rarely described and expressed so well.
Hello mate, that's a very astute observation, it's exactly like that - the clock is pretty much always ticking - and yet the effects on your life of that continual fear makes it increasingly difficult to get things sorted in time. What a trap! And yes, as I've said in reply to a couple of other people - part one (which I deliberately didn't say was part of a two-parter) is riddled with clues and hints at what might actually be happening. Although in fairness, some are so deep and dare I say 'textual' it would take quite the forensic investigation to find them. Great comment, and thanks for reading them.
Thanks for the reply Chris. Now I want to go searching for the deep, hidden 'textual' clues. This is what I like about you (and your writing) - the layers beneath the surface.
Reminds me of something you touched on years ago about using drugs I related to. I used to do acid with a specific friend but whereas I experienced different levels of reality which fascinated me and I tried to divine how it related to me and the world psychologically and symbolically.... He (as you put it so well) just liked the pretty colours. Same chemical but totally polar opposite experiences.
Looking forward to your novel.
November... Did you say? 😉
Lol. Keep at it mate, you have skill with words and it will pay off.
Nice one, Mr Eh! They're certainly in there, it's the textual 'structure' (I use that loosely) that takes the time really, and is what's certainly holding back the novel. But my editor is sick anyway so there's no point trying to rush it. I know how funny that sounds. I wouldn't spend too much time searching, there's only so many hours in the day. Here's the sort of thing you'll find: 'Mayde' comes from 'maiden' (amongst other roots) and the line 'A mayde schuld be seen, but not herd', apart from the obvious reference to not hearing a female, in Mid English, it meant a man who abstains from sexual activities. Also, the word 'schuld' in Mid High German means 'crime, debt, guilt', but in Old Mid German, also takes on both culpability and sin. '...and not herd', 'herd' here like a herd of sheep - which also has its roots in care and custody! So that line 'A mayde schuld be seen and not herd', weaves many aspects of the psychology of both the reader and story together.
Very good.👍 You are like a Russian Doll. Open up Dangerfield and there is another more intelligent and interesting Dangerfield inside.... Repeat ad infinitum...
At the end of part one I was thinking 'G'waan Freddy!', by the end of part two, all I can think is 'BITCH!' Exceptional writing as always, Chris, I particularly loved the lines: 'These kids weren’t just scared, they were collateral damage made human, made child. Made maydes not herd and then some.'
Beautiful.
I recently finished writing a short story of my own and, after reading and editing it and re-reading it again, I was pretty pleased with it. Then I read this and realised what an absolute amateur I am. I can't wait for your book!
Hello Pete - keep writing! I get the same. I get some writing done, think I'm pretty good, then dive into something someone else as written and think 'Oh, that's incredible' and it's like a kick in the teeth. But if I judge my work by my own previous work, there's often progress, which is all we can hope for. Thanks for reading and your very encouraging words.
Dange, you're very bloody good at this.
Thank you Ciarán, It's taken a while - a lifetime - to 'find my pen' so to speak, but I'm certainly somewhere that feels like writing is working for me rather than against me - most of the time anyway. Very kind words.
Did he do it or not ?
Is there a part 3 ?
Do I have to tune in again next week?
Part one is littered with clues. I thought it might be interesting to write half the story without telling. This platform gave me that opportunity, which I think has proven interesting. Thanks for reading the second part. That is the end.
right I'm gojng to brave part 1 again
They're there, but a lot of it is much encrypted. Read my reply to Humans Eh? In this thread for one such basket of clues.
So, did she just want to rob the bloke and think by making him out to be the wrongun it would keep her in the clear? If so what a way to go about it.
Im guessing women can become the worst liars and most manipulative junkies as certain traits would become weaponised. I know the ones i knew growing up all theived like arabs unless they needed you and often that made little difference.
After the initial dark dark set up the story flows and sets up many thought provoking twists and turns..
Great Chris.
Well worth the time spent.
Ian.
Thank you Ian. Not that I'd expect (m)any people to, but if you read part one it's littered with clues and indicators that all might not be what it seems. Glad you enjoyed it, means a lot to me.
Awesome. So this it what you've been up to then. I think a 6 hour midterm live-stream would have been a lot darker. Glad you opted for this. At least it has a slightly happier ending!
Yes, I realised a midterm stream was never going to be long enough due to the fact elections these days go on until the cheats prosper. So yes, between work and my novel manuscript, I've been doing this. 'Slightly happier', yes, but not entirely happy. So it goes. Cheers, Al.
Daaaaaamn! What a c*unt of a woman! I want to be really surprised that a bird would do something like that... but unfortunately, I'm not surprised at all. I've known so many of these types of fucking evil witches - I feel bad that I was calling for his balls to be removed yesterday... poor bastard - though... if he's shacked up with a skank like that I can really only blame him - and feel sorry for him at the same time. Well, I hope he sorted his head out and ran as far away from her as possible and now living a relatively happy life? Poor fucker.
Bitches like that... grrrrrr
Well, thanks for at least putting my mind at ease about those kids not being used as sex dolls, anyway...
What a cu*t of a woman.
Another great ditty, Danger! Big love, sir!
Hello John - it was a bit cheeky not making it clear there was more to come, but there's a kind of 'truth' in writing that is at once stable and fragile. As I've said to other people in these comments, part one was riddled with clues, but we're all easily manipulated really, especially when it comes to certain things. Thanks for reading and leaving interesting comments - much appreciated.
A darkly alluring tale which has us clamouring for Part 3.
Please make it so, Mr. Dangerfield.
Hello Nianthos - I am afraid that's it with this one - the story has been told. There is a novel looming though, so I'm told. Thanks for reading.
MANDOM!
Ha! It would have been bad manners not to have included it when required.
The plot twist is ace. I’ve been deceived by junkies and boy, can they spin a believable yarn.
My mate Duggie the Glaswegian was needing some work. I took him on for a refurb I was doing in London. He was always really late but he’d work late and we’d get stuff done.
Because the buses were so unreliable-according to Dug I lent him my bike- which got nicked the very next day.
Years later he confessed to me as I drove him from rehab in Weston-Super-Mare to Glasgow in my van so he could take his place at the Glasgow school of fine art.
Here was me, grafting, wearing myself out and my junkie bastard mate gets money thrown at him and a place at a top art school in his 40’s…all for free.
I’ll drop him an email, see if he’s still alive. We had a ball in the late 90’s in London.
Love your story Chris. The photo of you in the suit is cool. Looks like a charity shop number though. Surely it’s not bespoke stop you is it?
If you don't learn to deceive with absolute conviction, you'll not last long in that world, or you'll be sick most of the time - with much the same results. And yet, even after decades at the heart of it you can still get caught out. Telling the truth becomes harder that lying .I'll have you know that suit was fully bespoke, but I used to wear it for stand-up though, so it took a few knocks on the way. And as much as I can understand the resentment of him off to have fun at art school after you've been grafting hard, he might actually positively contribute to society rather than continue being a parasite. Ping him an email. Thanks for reading, Rollo.
Just when you thought it was really dark outside, a thick cloud cover rolls in to blot out the moon.
Poetic timing with that comment, Paxmax - it was the Cambodian Moon Festival 'Ok Om Bok' just yesterday. But yes, strange how a story can seem to ramp up even when the 'worst part' was a fiction. Thank you for reading.
Saw that doc with Charles Bronson that dude is a skull cracker. I bet Frederick used a hammer. You Brit’s love to use fing hammers it’s absolutely brutal. What wrong with a switch from a maple tree? Well done son entertaining as always.
Thank you Matt, much appreciated. I don't know if the link will show up, if it doesn't, search YouTube for "LEGEND - Bar Fight Scene - Starring Tom Hardy" - Tom Hardy plays both of the Kray Twins in the movie, but it's a brutal fight scene - with hammers. Two claw-hammers to be precise. Thanks for giving it a read. Here's the link on the off-chance it shows: https://youtu.be/5zb2DTOSzDM
Will check it out cheers.
I'll be quizzing you on the details on a stream soon. Have a good weekend, mate.
Wow that was brutal o7
awkward is how I feel and your violin concerto is helping, I will listen to the last few minutes in peace. Are you like a nuisance writer? Making me feel squirmy o7
'a nuisance writer?' amazing! I guess so. Did you really listen to The Devil's Trill Sonata? It's a beautiful piece of music, but you've got to get the right performance. Interestingly, I'm currently writing a piece about going to a Magic Convention (as in conjuring) and in a way it's more vile than most of my stuff. Thanks for reading, Linda - really appreciated.
two words: fucking great ending.
you have this short story lark down well. It's great how the second part turns the first part on its head. Well done
"Two words", lol - I liked that. Thanks for your kind words. It's taken a lot of terrible short stories over the years but finally finding my feet. Really appreciate your encouragement.
Nice lady.
An alarming conclusion to this tale. Another great but emotional read. It's interesting to at least witness that kind of vicious deception. One forgets to what degree people can and will lie, even when they know it'll be ruinous.
Yikes.
... eh ...just one more thing, as Columbo might have said...
Been thinking about this for a while;
The arresting nature of Matt's twisted letter and then the shock of realising the vile depths of Jane's deception.
But... this is you, Chris, recounting someone else's writing that in itself was a work of fiction.
A fabricated letter that served very well as a great piece of 'horror' writing ie. It was very horrible yet morbidly compelling and emotionally speaking, clearly, very charged.
Was Jane's own pen really that cunning and perverse? And imaginative?
A work of fiction that serves as a deception within a story. Hmmm?
Re-reading it, I'm increasingly intrigued because, while this could be a pretty straight recollection of a very sordid tale, I can't help thinking it could otherwise be a writer's fascination with and examination of, the power of writing to enrage or appall? ...to explore, to explain the depths of the depraved and taboo?
I may be reading way too much into it but I like the fact that I can't be sure either way.
As dark as it was, this was a great bit of writing.
Again, Yikes!
...and just when I thought you left a short and largely inconsequential comment, you come back a la Columbo and find a seam. I remember very little of the actual letter. It was child abuse, it was photography - but you've nailed it - when recounting such a tale, the writer has to remember that the readers don't know the characters, especially in a short, you don't have time to flesh out an emotional journey and have people actually care about them - it's all quite immediate. To get the desired effect I had to dredge the depths of my own imagination - I had to answer the question: 'What would be the most vile, unpleasant, and horrific situation?' But there's more - it had to be believable, and you have to ask, how can something be believable unless people can identify with it? Get it wrong and it would just be at best surreal, at worst, just unbelievable - and fail to create the desired effect. I guess horror writers have to deal with this all the time; someone invented The Exorcist. Someone invented the Silence of The Lambs. And people consume such stuff and enjoy it. I thought 'The Senior' was particularly unpleasant, left a bad taste in my laptop. Nice one Ludwig, always appreciated.
I feel positively tricked! So enjoyable reading your work though (however dark it gets)! Just need this novel, or a hilariously narrated audio book! The book needs to be released. Its the right thing to do.
Brilliant as ever.
It was a bit naughty not publishing both parts together like I have before with two-part shorts, but usually because of Substack's word limit. But it was sort of part of the story for people to make the same assumptions based on limited - or at least partial - information. If you look back at part one, there's plenty of little clues. Thanks for reading and leaving a comment. The novel is coming, it's just a lot of work and I don't have a lot of free time.
Excellent (as usual) Chris. This is one of those stories that once read, has the reader stare at the wall for a while contemplating it's meaning to both the reader and the narrator and promotes a second reading to 'see if I missed something'
Your great skill is in the seamless descriptive transitions of the dual life of the addict trying to navigate through the chaos of their life, while remaining focused intently on the primal demands of the body for medication. It's like two people inhabiting the same body each with their own priorities. Spinning plates. It's commonly done but rarely described and expressed so well.
Hello mate, that's a very astute observation, it's exactly like that - the clock is pretty much always ticking - and yet the effects on your life of that continual fear makes it increasingly difficult to get things sorted in time. What a trap! And yes, as I've said in reply to a couple of other people - part one (which I deliberately didn't say was part of a two-parter) is riddled with clues and hints at what might actually be happening. Although in fairness, some are so deep and dare I say 'textual' it would take quite the forensic investigation to find them. Great comment, and thanks for reading them.
Thanks for the reply Chris. Now I want to go searching for the deep, hidden 'textual' clues. This is what I like about you (and your writing) - the layers beneath the surface.
Reminds me of something you touched on years ago about using drugs I related to. I used to do acid with a specific friend but whereas I experienced different levels of reality which fascinated me and I tried to divine how it related to me and the world psychologically and symbolically.... He (as you put it so well) just liked the pretty colours. Same chemical but totally polar opposite experiences.
Looking forward to your novel.
November... Did you say? 😉
Lol. Keep at it mate, you have skill with words and it will pay off.
Nice one, Mr Eh! They're certainly in there, it's the textual 'structure' (I use that loosely) that takes the time really, and is what's certainly holding back the novel. But my editor is sick anyway so there's no point trying to rush it. I know how funny that sounds. I wouldn't spend too much time searching, there's only so many hours in the day. Here's the sort of thing you'll find: 'Mayde' comes from 'maiden' (amongst other roots) and the line 'A mayde schuld be seen, but not herd', apart from the obvious reference to not hearing a female, in Mid English, it meant a man who abstains from sexual activities. Also, the word 'schuld' in Mid High German means 'crime, debt, guilt', but in Old Mid German, also takes on both culpability and sin. '...and not herd', 'herd' here like a herd of sheep - which also has its roots in care and custody! So that line 'A mayde schuld be seen and not herd', weaves many aspects of the psychology of both the reader and story together.
Very good.👍 You are like a Russian Doll. Open up Dangerfield and there is another more intelligent and interesting Dangerfield inside.... Repeat ad infinitum...
Ha! I think it reaches diminishing returns at some point though.
Lol. A single cell, in a bespoke suit and handmade shoes.
Wow, Biff, Bam, Pow, In my mind i now see Batman and the Boy Wonder contemplating, anylising this fiendish riddle.
At the end of part one I was thinking 'G'waan Freddy!', by the end of part two, all I can think is 'BITCH!' Exceptional writing as always, Chris, I particularly loved the lines: 'These kids weren’t just scared, they were collateral damage made human, made child. Made maydes not herd and then some.'
Beautiful.
I recently finished writing a short story of my own and, after reading and editing it and re-reading it again, I was pretty pleased with it. Then I read this and realised what an absolute amateur I am. I can't wait for your book!
Hello Pete - keep writing! I get the same. I get some writing done, think I'm pretty good, then dive into something someone else as written and think 'Oh, that's incredible' and it's like a kick in the teeth. But if I judge my work by my own previous work, there's often progress, which is all we can hope for. Thanks for reading and your very encouraging words.