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MouseCat's avatar

Certainly was a stream of consciousness going on there bro.

Sounds harrowing.

However, it has got me checking out what ants do with their fallen comrades.

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

Ha! I did the same, necrophoresis! In my notes I assumed they'd eat them, which required some further investigation (as opposed to just guessing), and if you've looked, you'll know there's a few reasons, and different reasons depending on type of ant. In the context of this piece I was struck by the idea of maintaining 'trail efficiency' as their scent can confuse other ants. Some do eat them, apparently but I could have called this piece 'trail efficiency' thinking about it. Thanks for giving it a read.

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MouseCat's avatar

For sure, i have checked up on each species and what they all get up to. Myrmecology is fascinating concerning the whole ANThropoligical ANThology of the family Formicidae.

Reducing this new found information to a more mandible sized idiom, I have reached a conclusion,

"It takes different Ants for different Pants"..

Get well soon Chris.

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Emma Lang's avatar

To relive all that in your mind in order to creatively write a retelling must've been nearly as harrowing as the original experience.

A great read nonetheless.

I welcome your return, and wish you nothing but good health, Chris.

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

Thank you Emma. I'm feeling a lot better, and every day feels like progress. The real struggle was dealing with the kind of inherent grandiose nature of suffering. Or the grandiose nature of talking about suffering. We could call it 'Magnipassia', lol, and I'm wishing I had now. Thank you for your time, Emma.

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kate smurthwaite's avatar

This reminds me of the time I came

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

You should see the other bloke.

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Liz Young's avatar

Not thee Kate smurtwaite ?

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Liz Young's avatar

One feeling sorry for himself then? Mad dogs and English men mid day sun ,all that palaver going ng through the same shiz myself,eyes like piss holes in the snow3 hospital visits just when you think it can't get worse shat me pants alcohol is a bugger xxxx chin up ole boy

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

Oh dear, Liz. That doesn't sound good. Alcohol is a bastard. I hope you find some peace and soon. x

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Liz Young's avatar

Cheers me dear x

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Loulou's avatar

I did make it to the end and I’m glad you have too! We are all missing you, hope to see you on the screen soon. Take care of yourself! Lou Lou

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

Hey Lou, great stuff. I aim to do a stream any day now. See you there!

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Loulou's avatar

Bloody hell! 🙁

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

Hey Loulou - thanks for giving it a read. Interested to see how this one goes down. Did you make it to the end?

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Alice England's avatar

Wow, I feel traumatised just reading this excellent but terrifying article. I truly hope you are feeling better, I’m a very long time fan of your streams, especially with iconoclast and OTO.

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

Hello Alice. Thank you for reading this and your kind words. They were good days with Dan and Hugh. I still speak with Dan all the time, and Hugh occasionally. And yes, I am feeling much better.

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D Mennis's avatar

Well, at least you got some good writing out of it. Some great lines, here.

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

That's the main thing, lol. Cheers Dennis, glad you enjoyed it.

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Humans Eh!'s avatar

Had to take a break from that. Powerful stuff. An unnerving unapologetic delve into our most primal fear, our helplessness in the face of our own mortality and susceptibility to suffering. Written with relentless honesty and urgency, Chris holds up a mirror we would all prefer not to gaze into. We share in the dread because as fellow human beings it could be any one of us for whom the bell tolls.

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

Hey dude, I was reading through the comments to make myself feel better and realised I'd not answered this one. A lovely comment. Thank you for giving it your time and for your considered reply.

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Mike Coulter's avatar

Like a 36 grit sanding belt that never wears out. And those hours and days in the hospital “for my own good,” all effort put into saving me from myself. It’s interminable. Jesus, you nailed it. Beautiful.

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Mike Coulter's avatar

Hey man, it’s just a pleasure to read. It’s like an elegant evisceration.

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

Hello Mike. Yes, I was driving a contradiction machine, and the nearer I got to my destination, the further I felt from the land of men. Thank you for giving it your time and your kind words; they're much appreciated.

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Chrissie's avatar

Omg 🫣

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

Hello Chrissie. I certainly had a few wrangles with The Lord during that time. Interestingly, when you're on what feels like the final cusp, the language of your thoughts is theophanic. However, confusingly, the next moment, you have a Skittle stuck between your toes and it has equal significance Thanks for giving it a read.

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Chrissie's avatar

Sending you big Scrublove 🩵

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Rollo's avatar

I took note of the Thai commode thingie. Nice hack.

Apart from that, Thanks for the scribblings.

We need you back more than ever.

Scrubs.

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

Hard to say if they made it or someone does, but as I said, it was a hair with a hole with a plastic bag. However, if you're at a stage when you're making such a thing, I suggest you need to zoom out a little and consider where you're at. I'm nearly ready. Bless you, Rollster.

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Pakka's avatar

i often see that man.

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

One of the perks of working in a care home for the partially deceased. I'll see you in a day or two if you're up for it? I hope you're good, lad.

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Pakka's avatar

of course i'm up for it. o7

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet! I'll ping the mrs a message. Maybe tonight?

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Bradley Yellop's avatar

I got: "this was all Bill's fault," from this!

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

Ha! Most of it was my fault. Incompetence and hubris of others certainly had their part to play, though. We can all fall over, but it takes a special kind of stupid to stamp on your head afterwards. Thanks for reading it, Bradley.

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Humans Eh!'s avatar

Well, that was nice. 😳

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Gayle Davis's avatar

It's a harsh depiction of withdrawal... really brutal but quite beautiful at the same time.' There are loads of parts that I kept re-reading and thinking..WOW this is something really special. You really are up there with some of the great writers. I love your style of writing..it's poetry

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

Thank you Gayle, very kind of you to give it your time, and for your exceptionally kind words. It was certainly a rough old time, and I put this piece together from notes I scribbled on any available piece of paper: Boarding passes, napkins, Starbucks receipts. When I read it back, it feels as foreign as it does familiar. I'm not sure what that means, but it's interesting nonetheless.

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