So glad you decided to stick your stories up here, mate. I always seem to come back to your work (either your YouTube, or your Substack), when I’m bedridden with nothing but an alcoholic mad woman, a few gradually shrinking bottles of methadone, and possibly some MST to keep me company.
Stories like these always bring back vague memories of an 80s childhood. Friendly neighbours, street parties, and that feeling that all that lay ahead was endless possibilities.
Really enjoyable read. Shame Candy missed out on your slither of a penix. Or did you get her a few years later?
I remember you talking about the friendship cake. Didn't have a fucking clue what you were talking about. It never reached the mean streets of Luton, fortunately by the sounds of it.
When we spoke on the stream I mentioned that I've never read novels, just factual stuff. It's just occurred to me that novels can be factual stuff too.
Looking forward to 'I'm Spasticus' lol & your, ahem.. novel. Will tap...the novel of course.
I left a comment on the Mads stream & he left a fairly long detailed reply. Have you seen it? Top fella so he is
My mum's standard hunger-complaint defence was "bread and jam" or "biscuits and cheese" (Jacob's Cream Crackers and Red Leicester). When she remarried up into the lower-middle class and shopped for food at M&S, we used to rib her about this if she ever felt "peckish" and we'd drily recommended "bread and jam/biscuits and cheese" ...
Haha loved this. Never heard of a friendship cake. With friends like those who needs enemies.
Salt sandwich? That’s news to me - but I remember making salad ryvita sandwiches that were pretty grim.
I think we all had our mums friends that we had a crush on. My mums friend wore leather trousers and was a secret crush. She invited us to a bbq and I remember meeting her new boyfriend and drowning my sorrows on wine and collapsing in the rose bush.
Those were the days when neighbours actually went around each other’s houses and shared a cup of sugar and some eggs and milk or even some dodgy cake mix, that doesn’t happen anymore. Great reminiscence story from the past Chris as always a eloquently put together story sir.
Don't recall the 'Friendship cake' maybe a southern thing. We never did Vesta curries either. My Dad was in India and Ceylon in the war and said the smell of curry would never permeate our home. When the Asians started moving in it drove him to insanity. Good read Danger. The youthful lustings definately ticked the memory bank. My Uncle Geoffs wife ( not a real uncle just a friend ) Maureen wore the shortest of skirts and stockings to boot ...ooh er
Years ago someone gave me Amish Friendship Bread starter as part of a Secret Santa gift. I thought it was a lovely gift, but I stupidly mentioned to one of my co-workers that it was an old-fashioned gift. The following week I found out that the co-worker I was speaking to was my Secret Santa and I felt terrible.
"Now, if there was a (1) nice fresh baguette,(2) some Pastrami, (3) some Gouda cheese, maybe some (4) ripe, blood-red tomatoes, (5) crisp iceberg-lettuce, and (6) mayonnaise" YEAH WE GET IT MATE. Observe the LAW OF 3 not the law of 6 you verbose Kent plank. Even Tony Blair knew this. "Education. Education. Education." You over work EVERYTHING. This is you: "Education. Education. Education. Education. Education. Education."
Very entertaining read. I still eat bread and butter sandwiches even now (no margarine, stopped using that filth years ago) and i’m with you on salad cream, Total abomination!
Love this story Chris. Another great read keep them coming. I think i have a few to catch up they keep going in my junk folder 🤣 Hope your enjoying your break
That took me on a trip down memory lane - not with Friendship cake but I remember the Ginger Beer version and thinking Golden Syrup sandwiches were a 'treat'
The 80's were a cruel time for food experimentation. I remember eating Duck A l'Orange at a family wedding. Everyone was so excited about it and thought it was really posh. I hated it. Now I know why - it was made with orange juice and gravy granules haha.
Another brilliant story told with classic Dangerfield hilarity. Just when you think it can’t get any funnier…..it always does
Lovely piece, I do reflect sometimes why it is the working class (like you and me) who are much more likely to support nationalism. We see the reality of the situation, we have had our communities ripped to shreds directly via immigration like nobody else - literally, anyone on a council estate in any major city has witnessed this first hand. Thinking back to my childhood living on a council estate in the early 90s it was still majority English and had some sense of community, parties for the England games and royal events - but in a direct link as immigration increased (notably 1997 onwards via tony blair) - community died down - strangely even between English people. You'd have to pinch yourself to see how much the place has changed in under 20 years, crime, division, and general unhappiness all up.
I saw your birthplace in the news Dartford just this week a stabbing near the station - looks like from new arrivals. You must've not seen your mum in a long time now? surely you plan to come back and visit her - could have a meetup with all your supporters also in Soho ha (another place that has become increasingly lawless via immigration - drug dealers all around Soho square) and these are the "best" bits of London. Anyway enough misery for now - keep up the good work - maybe 1 day the novel will be out for me to buy ;0 Cheers!
Enemy Cake
So glad you decided to stick your stories up here, mate. I always seem to come back to your work (either your YouTube, or your Substack), when I’m bedridden with nothing but an alcoholic mad woman, a few gradually shrinking bottles of methadone, and possibly some MST to keep me company.
Stories like these always bring back vague memories of an 80s childhood. Friendly neighbours, street parties, and that feeling that all that lay ahead was endless possibilities.
Really enjoyable read. Shame Candy missed out on your slither of a penix. Or did you get her a few years later?
I remember you talking about the friendship cake. Didn't have a fucking clue what you were talking about. It never reached the mean streets of Luton, fortunately by the sounds of it.
When we spoke on the stream I mentioned that I've never read novels, just factual stuff. It's just occurred to me that novels can be factual stuff too.
Looking forward to 'I'm Spasticus' lol & your, ahem.. novel. Will tap...the novel of course.
I left a comment on the Mads stream & he left a fairly long detailed reply. Have you seen it? Top fella so he is
My mum's standard hunger-complaint defence was "bread and jam" or "biscuits and cheese" (Jacob's Cream Crackers and Red Leicester). When she remarried up into the lower-middle class and shopped for food at M&S, we used to rib her about this if she ever felt "peckish" and we'd drily recommended "bread and jam/biscuits and cheese" ...
Haha loved this. Never heard of a friendship cake. With friends like those who needs enemies.
Salt sandwich? That’s news to me - but I remember making salad ryvita sandwiches that were pretty grim.
I think we all had our mums friends that we had a crush on. My mums friend wore leather trousers and was a secret crush. She invited us to a bbq and I remember meeting her new boyfriend and drowning my sorrows on wine and collapsing in the rose bush.
Thanks Chris
I like salad cream and golden syrup. Golden syrup is the bollocks on porridge.
Our neighbours were always in the habit of selling things off the back of a lorry to each other. It was the East End, after all.
Those were the days when neighbours actually went around each other’s houses and shared a cup of sugar and some eggs and milk or even some dodgy cake mix, that doesn’t happen anymore. Great reminiscence story from the past Chris as always a eloquently put together story sir.
I hear the middle classes do Kombucha, friendship enemas these days.
Don't recall the 'Friendship cake' maybe a southern thing. We never did Vesta curries either. My Dad was in India and Ceylon in the war and said the smell of curry would never permeate our home. When the Asians started moving in it drove him to insanity. Good read Danger. The youthful lustings definately ticked the memory bank. My Uncle Geoffs wife ( not a real uncle just a friend ) Maureen wore the shortest of skirts and stockings to boot ...ooh er
Years ago someone gave me Amish Friendship Bread starter as part of a Secret Santa gift. I thought it was a lovely gift, but I stupidly mentioned to one of my co-workers that it was an old-fashioned gift. The following week I found out that the co-worker I was speaking to was my Secret Santa and I felt terrible.
"Now, if there was a (1) nice fresh baguette,(2) some Pastrami, (3) some Gouda cheese, maybe some (4) ripe, blood-red tomatoes, (5) crisp iceberg-lettuce, and (6) mayonnaise" YEAH WE GET IT MATE. Observe the LAW OF 3 not the law of 6 you verbose Kent plank. Even Tony Blair knew this. "Education. Education. Education." You over work EVERYTHING. This is you: "Education. Education. Education. Education. Education. Education."
Brilliant :-)
Very entertaining read. I still eat bread and butter sandwiches even now (no margarine, stopped using that filth years ago) and i’m with you on salad cream, Total abomination!
Love this story Chris. Another great read keep them coming. I think i have a few to catch up they keep going in my junk folder 🤣 Hope your enjoying your break
That took me on a trip down memory lane - not with Friendship cake but I remember the Ginger Beer version and thinking Golden Syrup sandwiches were a 'treat'
The 80's were a cruel time for food experimentation. I remember eating Duck A l'Orange at a family wedding. Everyone was so excited about it and thought it was really posh. I hated it. Now I know why - it was made with orange juice and gravy granules haha.
Another brilliant story told with classic Dangerfield hilarity. Just when you think it can’t get any funnier…..it always does
Lovely piece, I do reflect sometimes why it is the working class (like you and me) who are much more likely to support nationalism. We see the reality of the situation, we have had our communities ripped to shreds directly via immigration like nobody else - literally, anyone on a council estate in any major city has witnessed this first hand. Thinking back to my childhood living on a council estate in the early 90s it was still majority English and had some sense of community, parties for the England games and royal events - but in a direct link as immigration increased (notably 1997 onwards via tony blair) - community died down - strangely even between English people. You'd have to pinch yourself to see how much the place has changed in under 20 years, crime, division, and general unhappiness all up.
I saw your birthplace in the news Dartford just this week a stabbing near the station - looks like from new arrivals. You must've not seen your mum in a long time now? surely you plan to come back and visit her - could have a meetup with all your supporters also in Soho ha (another place that has become increasingly lawless via immigration - drug dealers all around Soho square) and these are the "best" bits of London. Anyway enough misery for now - keep up the good work - maybe 1 day the novel will be out for me to buy ;0 Cheers!
Sounds a lovely idea that in reality turns out to be more like a car washing round. 😉