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MosaicLabrador's avatar

Another heartwarming Christmas tale told by Dangerfield.

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

Well, I like to remain seasonal, drawing on my marketing skills there. Thanks for reading, Mos.

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Paxmax's avatar

On the Scale of Life, he observed the two empty dishes hanging suspended off each end of the arm. It was all balanced, needle hovering exactly between "Excellent" and "Wasted".

Chris metered out and put a slice of life time in one dish -representing skills learned, time spent honing his craft. With a soft 'thunk' the arm hung awkwardly on maximum travel stop, needle pointing to Wasted.

In a matter of seconds though, in the other dish, almost like magic, appeared a beautiful woman, sensualism, opportunity... and a working bed. The scale self corrected, the needle swung a good way into the Excellent zone. Chris smiled and put in his new shoes and the nice coat. Needle was now heavily into excellent zone.

The happy smile had turned into a victorious grin, looking about "What esle?". Almost without hesitation he picked up the tiny dropped baggy of Charlie from the floor and flippantly tossed it on the dish. Needle became unsteady, jerky motions... there was an ominous creaking noise now coming from the ceiling hook whereupon the scale was suspended, SH--!

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

"looking about "What else?" - my entire experience of life. Like most things, sometimes positive, sometimes negative - but never peaceful.

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

This is actually better than I first thought. Write more. Not here, just write more.

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

Oh this is very nice. Nice one Paxmax, for reading and the well-considered comment.

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Darren Tooley's avatar

Grim but interesting chris.. looking forward to reading all your stories. As a none reader I quite like your life stories and taken the plunge and ordered brave new world, I remember you saying its an easier read than 1984. Keep up the good work 💪

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

Hello Daz, thanks for taking time to read and leave a comment. You picked the shortest one, so good tactics. BNW is excellent. I didn't really mean 'easier' in any kind of linguistic context, I just find it got it right with the cultural stuff - whereas 1984 (being the other great dystopian novel of the 20th century) really missed that side of things and we can see today the role culture has in tyranny. BNW makes life out to be perfect, everything's fine. And if it's not, there's Soma (their drug of choice). 1984 is grim, bleak, has probably the more interesting takes on censorship, but it's a dark and dingy world often making a dark and dingy read. Anyway, you might think differently, but get on it - discovering books after being royally put off them by school, was one of the best things to ever happen in my life.

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Al Mac's avatar

Thankfully my experiences with sex on coke were far more fun, providing you can get past the shrinking dick phase.

Beautifully bleak story.

Can't imagine why any girls would unsubsribe though, titter titter.

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

I've certainly had some good times with women on cocaine, but not when I was up to my neck in a Junk habit and shooting the damn stuff. I am a bit sad about the unsubs though. Hasn't happened before. Thanks for reading.

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Ian Marr's avatar

Small, but full of cerebral tangents.

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

Nice one, Ian - thanks for reading.

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Ian Marr's avatar

I'm surprised you managed to keep it so short with so many complicated scenarios and emotions going on.

I didn't binge read your entire catalogue as you alluded to in a stream, I read them all as they came out and didn't tag the like button.

When Rags is constantly reminding people to hit the "Rogan" during your live streams I am one of the targets of his message, forget, lazy, unappreciative....you decide.

Later mate,

Cracking tales.

Ian.

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

It feels more like an exercise in retrospect. I wanted the experience of the girl to be the take-away, even when surrounded in - I guess - 'big-hitting' goings on. Thanks again for reading, and comments much appreciated.

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Mark Decot's avatar

Classic Dangerfield. It's like watching an episode of Dexter.

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Liz Young's avatar

I watched season 1-8 in 4 days last week, I've been depressed, nothing a bleeding artery wouldn't sort out lol.

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Al Mac's avatar

It's a great series, can't wait for the next one. Keep those veins & arteries intact x

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

My comments section has been hijacked by Dexter. I think that's a bad sign.

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Liz Young's avatar

Theres a new one out now Dexter new blood or something I'm on episode 6👍tonight

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Al Mac's avatar

Ah OK, didn't realise it was out yet. Thanks

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

Bleeding vein. A bleeding artery would probably kill you. Details, Elizabeth, details. Thanks for reading.

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Liz Young's avatar

I ment artery 😉

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

Oh gosh, Liz.

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Al Mac's avatar

🤣 He just needed to prepare the kill room with plastic sheets beforehand.

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

Aha - we're back. I said that to Marc a few comments ago.

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

Hello Marc. I could have done with a bit of Dexter's plastic linings, the bloodied duvet never got cleaned. Thanks for reading.

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Greggo's avatar

Does Mumford know about this one??

PS. Great writing

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

Hello Greggo - he does. It wasn't his Mrs, but he did once ask me to 'get off' with her so had an excuse to finish with her. I went a bit too far. maybe you've heard me tell the story - 'cupboard under the stairs' ring any bells? Hmm, maybe I'll write that one.

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Ariel Hessayon's avatar

This is good. Sort of reminds me of a few things I've read, but at the same time comes through with a distinctive voice. Looking forward to reading more.

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

Hello Ariel - I have just responded to your comment on the shout-out thread. Really much appreciated that you gave a story some time, and 'distinctive voice' is gold dust (for my ego). Thank you.

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Ariel Hessayon's avatar

Hi Chris, you have a talent for writing so please do keep going. I think it will be well worth the effort - and with more material like this your readership will continue to grow.

While I'm here, thanks for liking my comment concerning my own substack, which is much appreciated. I'm used to writing for academics and, sometimes, students. But I'm still working on trying to find the right voice for general readers. So if you do have a spare few minutes please, any feedback on a post that takes your fancy would be greatly appreciated. The most popular so far has been on 'monstrous births', although the one on the history of football went viral when I first published it.

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

Nice one, Ariel. Well if you've had one go viral, you're smashing it! When I get some time, I'll check a couple out.

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Ariel Hessayon's avatar

Thanks Chris, that's very kind. Eagerly anticipating the next installment of your 'exaggerations'. Good luck!

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

Hey Ariel, I intended to finish it last night but I had a migraine that I'm only just coming out of. But hopefully it will go out in the next few days. I'm very happy with it so far, just got to get the ending in and a couple of read throughs.

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Nick C's avatar

I can't relate to your experiences, I can't say "been there, done that", which is what makes your stories so very entertaining. Marvelous insights into another world. Keep 'em coming!

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

Cheers Nick. Got a new one coming in the next week, it's been unpleasant writing it, so...? Thanks for reading and leaving a comment.

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Bradley Yellop's avatar

Your writing often has the quality of Ray Bradbury and Jeannette Winterson.

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

Nice one, Bradley - I know a bit of Bradbury, but being likened to anyone who's selling is always encouraging. Thanks for reading.

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Andrew French's avatar

It's an easy read that will make you picture the scene, short, a bit random but honest.

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

Cheers Andrew, it's all very random in that world - but still predictable - which is odd.

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Anglo saxon's avatar

Bloody hell.

Nice one Chris.

Reminds me of when I worked at the slaughter house. Keep em coming mucker

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

Hello Anglo - thanks for giving it a go, really appreciated.

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Grim FPV's avatar

Catching up after Christmas..

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

Hello Grim - I saw your likes on a few stories - much appreciated. Thanks for taking the time and effort to give them a go.

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Skyaaz's avatar

I’ve been looking forward to reading this after hearing what you said on your channel. It was painful to read I’m sure (if you have a history with this stuff) - I don’t but get that.

There are touches of humour in this utter horror show (the motorcycle helmet made me laugh)

I can’t wait to read the others in this sub stack and your book will be one I get.

Happy Christmas Chris

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

Belated Happy Christmas and thanks for reading and leaving a comment. I've never had an unsub but after I posted this one I've lost about five (gained nine, so ups and downs), but it has definitely made me think about it. I certainly tried to show compassion and understanding - and in truth I think maybe the title pissed a few people off - had I been a bit more considerate there, things might (might) have been different.

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Thefatpainter's avatar

Mulled this one over for a few days to let the aggregate settle, as I like to try and keep it short I’ll crack on. There was a lot of jaggy little corners here, as per, but the takeaway for me was the introspective mirror, “ to see ourselves as others see us”,( Burns). A kind of Möbius strip, the “selfish bastards”, creating their image primarily to suit themselves and your interpretation of their conclusions, both travelling the same surface and both sides at the same time. Burns called it a “ gift”, I’m not so sure.

Merry Christmas

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

Hello - much appreciated - and thanks for giving it time. The idea - maybe in retrospect more of an exercise - was to have a dominant event (the blood, the drugs) and yet have some very small, almost peripheral, moments of actual human connection be the take-away. I've certainly experienced the Burns gift though, the first time I travelled I was struck by that amazing feeling of recognizing myself in/through the eyes of strangers. In this piece though - I'll give it a read. Thanks again.

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Thefatpainter's avatar

I can see that, the head on the shoulder, being called a woman. Like beauty it is very much in the eye of the beholder and my interpretation probably says more about my own introspection.

AndyMac.

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Ludwig Hohlwein's avatar

A sweet, crazy little vignette. It's interesting to get insights into the mind of someone that, as she said, everyone likes, that women, ex girlfriends like. Maybe because I can't quite relate to this, I'm intrigued by the seemingly charmed life of such a charismatic winner.

Or is that the reader being the 'selfish bastard' also? Imposing a fantasy onto this reality of bloody, awkward sex and tears.

I like how you don't shy away from the coldness of your character's gaze, "someone so beautiful trapped in their own banality." There is that balance of honest cruelty with a pitiful, pained humanity shot through these junkie tales. Is that the key to their charisma?

The image of you wearing a bike helmet on the loo, ready to rag doll it, into the floor is wild. The sarcastic observation, "she'd enjoy that" as she scampers off, makes a great scene.

Always enjoy reading these. Much love.

Gertcha

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Chris Dangerfield's avatar

Hello Ludwig, thanks for reading and leaving another considered and well observed comment. You wouldn't believe how many times I removed and replaced 'The selfish bastards' for exactly the reason you suggested. Maybe that's why I've now lost five subscribers since posting this piece, no one had ever unsubscribed before.

I tried to make it clear that under all the drugs (including a young man's natural hormones) and/or perhaps in spite of them - the protagonist had compassion and an ability to show love. Getting that 'balance' as you call it, right, is whether these tales succeed or fail - and that will always be up to the reader. Thanks again, much appreciated.

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